Page 37 of Arseni

“I went to sleep in the tunnels, hugging a baseball bat so tightly people called me Baby Ruth.Because whenIleft high school, I didn’t have people to drive me off to a dorm.I got a goodbye from the government and a good riddance from every adult I’d ever known.”

“Wow, that must have beenreallyhard.”

I drop my cigarette to the ground before I burn her with it.When Roscoe goes to check it out, I grab his collar and don’t take my eyes off Margot.

“How do you feel about the smell of Pine Sol?”she asks.

I narrow my eyes and don’t respond.Pine Sol?

“Because I can’t smell the stuff without having a panic attack.I fainted once, in Home Depot, because the chemical smell reminded me too much of a kitchen sink cabinet, which is where I was hiding when my father stabbed my mom twenty-six times while I listened to her scream.I bit my hand so hard it bled while he searched for me.The sound of a shotgun blowing his brains on my mother’s dresser was what told me the coast was clear.”

Her eyes shine in the moonlight as her voice shakes.Looking away, I cross my arms as my chest tightens.

“When they took me away, I had nothing but a backpack full of clothes and a photo my mother had drawn for my lunchbox.All her work, gone.All our photos, destroyed.I had one thing left of the only person in the world I cared about, which to you, must make mesolucky.”

I turn back to her at those words to see tears streaking her face.She trembles with emotion that surrounds me, opening my mouth like it’s trying to crawl inside.I don’t know what to say, but I also don’t want her to talk anymore.

This was too much.Too personal.Too… I don’t know.

“You think I don’t understand the pain that comes with being unloved, but you don’t know the pain of losing someone.And you never will because you’re a cruel, hateful bastard who doesn’t deserve love.Maybe that makesyouthe lucky one.”

“That’s enough.”

“Oh, is it, Daddy?You don’t want to play anymore?”She hops off the table and shoves my legs so I bring them to the ground.She shifts between them like she’s going to straddle me, but she just stares me down.

“I saidthat’s enough, Margot.You made your point.”

She shakes her head.“No, I don’t think so.”

I shift in the chair as she lowers to her knees, dragging the handcuffs under her feet so her hands are in front of her.“I get it, Arseni.I do.You wannateach me a lesson.You’re so mad that I didn’t want to fuck you before, so you’re getting even with me now.Here, let me help.”

When she grabs my cock through my pants, I shove her hands away.“Jesus Christ,calm down.”

“Calm down?”she asks, her eyes wide,crazed.

I feel my eyes widen as well.“Yes.”It’s embarrassing how uncomfortable I feel, seeing Margot like this.In my mind, she’s a bitch who ditched me the same as everyone else.That’s what she’s always been in my mind.Even before she gave me the boot, I knew it would happen.

They’re all the same to me.All nothing but disappointments.Barely even human, more like collages making up one being.The only thing that makes Margot stand out is how badly I want her pussy.

I don’t empathize.

I don’t relate.

I don’t give a shit.

That’s the way it needs to be.

Roscoe nudges my leg like he can feel my unease, his whining returning.

Margot leans into me, crazy eyes never leaving mine.When she speaks, it’s an angry whisper.“Okay.”

She flings her hands toward mine, and I don’t understand why until it’s too late.The orange glow of my cigarette, dimmer now but still scolding, presses down hard on the backside of my hand.My eyes widen, and I inhale a yell that doesn’t leave my mouth until she’s sprinting away.

“Fuck!”My hand shakes as I bring it to my face, inhaling burnt flesh.I clench my jaw as my neck inflames to the same degree as my hand.

I don’t immediately move, instead glaring at where she disappeared inside the garden.It isn’t until I remember the electric fence that my eyes pop wide, and I take off after her.

14

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