My face inflames, but every step he takes toward me presses against the immediacy of the situation, claiming all my attention.
“S-stop,” I say, backing into the nightstand.“Stop or I’ll shoot!”
He doesn’t.I don’t know if heknowsI won’t pull the trigger or if he just doesn’t care.
I look behind me and sidestep to put distance between us, but he closes it easily and yanks the gun from my hand.I yelp and cringe as he takes my jaw and shoves me into the wall, my back thumping hard.
I try to cower, but his arm pressed against my chest prevents me from shrinking.I’m forced to look at him, to watch his hardened eyes as he tosses the gun on the other side of the room and shrugs his pants over his hips.
No, that’s a lie.I could close my eyes if I wanted, if he’dletme.I just won’t.
“Arseni,” I whimper, my eyes stinging.
His arm easing off my chest, he pulls what’s left of my night shorts down and lifts my foot to guide me out of them.When he stands back up, I flinch, as if him being face to face with me causes pain.In some ways, it does.
He takes hold of my neck, making my eyes widen and hands raise to his wrist.I’m taken back to last night when he choked me.I feared for my life then, and I should fear for my life now, but it feels like the world has tilted on its axis.I see everything differently through this angle, through the eyes of this boy I once knew.I’m not afraid of him killing me.No more than he was afraid of me killing him.Maybe that’s stupid.Maybe he’s become a murderer since I last saw him, but it feels impossible to separate that boy from this man.
“Say it again,” he commands, his hand firmly wrapped around my neck while he lifts my leg, spreading me for him.He frees himself from his boxers and presses his bare flesh to me yet again, making me gasp.
He squeezes my throat, not to the point of cutting off oxygen but enough to get my attention.As if it could be anywhere else.
“Say it.”
“S-say what?”
His hand squeezes until I’m uselessly trying to suck in breaths and clawing at his hand.He brushes his lips against my earlobe, and the gentle act contrasts so sharply with his vicious grip that I have no idea what he’s feeling.I struggle for air, trying to kick, though my leg is still raised in his hold.
“Say my name,” he whispers, licking my earlobe before he relaxes his grip.
I suck in a gasp and lift my head toward the ceiling.His …cock.It feels so wrong to call it that when it’s on him, but no other word seems to fit in my mind.His cock nudges against my entrance as it did minutes ago when he was a different person, when this was a different world.
His hand lightly squeezes my neck, bringing me back to his command.I lower my head to stare into his eyes and breathe heavily while he rocks against me, swirling his tip inside my heat.
“This is wrong,” I whisper back, almost as a reflex.Again, I’m transported back in time.Again, I feel my face flush at the perverseness of this.
One side of his mouth quirks, a smile I remember well.It always struck me as evil.Always tipped me off to the malevolence going on in his mind.
“I know,” is all he says.
In one forceful thrust, he spears into me, filling me up until my walls clamp around him in protest.It isn’t from lack of arousal.I turn my head in shame at how smoothly my body tries to make things for him.He takes my jaw and pulls me back to look at him while he rams me with powerful jerks of his hips.
My lips part in gasps that turn to light moans, moans I promise myself are cries.
This is wrong.
So,sowrong.
His hand smooths over my breasts and down to my neglected clit.I open my mouth to tell him to stop, but all that comes out is a whine.It feels better than it should, better than I wish it did.
I wish he’d choke me some more.That he’d flip me around and fuck me mercilessly with the lights off, that he’d degrade me, spank me, give me all the pain he came to give me.Anything but this.
“Stop,” I say, breathless as he rolls his hips into me in a delicious rhythm that has me following it like a he’s a twisted snake charmer.“Please stop.”
“Say my name and maybe I will,” he replies.It’s an obvious lie, but I tell myself it’s my only option.I need him to stop.I’ll hate myself if he doesn’t.It’s a bitter injustice that I can be an unwilling participant and yet so damn guilty.
“Arseni,” I say, lust swirling in each syllable like it’s the dirty word he wants it to be.
His mouth opens against my ear, hot breaths pelting me between his kisses as he rubs me faster.I throw my head back as his thrusts come quicker, the force of them knocking my ass against the wall.