Page 12 of Arseni

4

ARSENI

Ithought I’d be satisfied.

I thought all I’d needed was to see her again, to scare her, to remind her I exist.

But I’m not satisfied.If anything, I’m wilting with deprivation.

Screeching to a halt outside my house, I throw my car in park and close my eyes.The Mustang reeks of overly greasy pizza and invades my nostrils when I take a long, slow inhale.But it’s no use.I haven’t gotten Margot off my mind since I left her on the roof.Some deep breathing isn’t going to do it now.

I should’ve killed her.The moment I saw the lack of recognition cross her expression, I should’ve known killing her was the only thing to calm this rage she conjures inside of me.I could’ve cut my losses, pushed her from my mind for good.Forgotten her memory as easily as she’s forgotten mine.

Maybe it was unfair for her that I wore a mask, but I remember so clearly her claiming my voice was one she could never forget.And yet…

Shaking my head, I grab the pizzas from the passenger seat and start across the yard to my front door, my feet kicking up dirt.There was a patch of grass around here at some point that my roommates and I have since let die.

When I reach the door, a faint, familiar clicking sound turns my head.The neighbor kid locks eyes with me while he taps his stick against the wooden step to what I guess is his door.The house has been vacant and decrepit since I moved in.Now the homeless have claimed it.

For a moment, I just stare, my head tilting.I wait to see if he’ll walk over here, but I know he won’t.This is the first time he’s intentionally sought my attention.If I hadn’t been distracted by my thoughts when I walked up, I would’ve seen him on my own, my eyes naturally gravitating that way.

I walk to the end of my porch and open up the top pizza box.I wrap one of the slices in a napkin and go to place it on the ground but then pause when I’m halfway bent.A man’s shout followed by glass breaking pulls my eyes up to the second story window of the squatter house.When I look back at the kid, he doesn’t appear to have flinched.

With a sigh, I toss the slice back inside the box and set the whole thing on the ground.I carry the remaining box inside, the smell of pot hitting me in the face the moment the door opens.

My roommates, Zinovy and Fox, lounge on the couch with an Xbox controller in each of their hands.Their bloodshot eyes are fully concentrated on the TV, but when I drop the pizza on the coffee table, Fox looks up.

“What the fuck, man?Where’s the rest?”

I hike a shoulder and head for the fridge.

“How do you always fuck this shit up?”Fox asks, exasperated.“Seriously, it’s every time.”

Zinovy hums in agreement but doesn’t take his eyes off the TV.

I pull a beer from the otherwise bare fridge and use the counter to pop the cap off.The bottle doesn’t make it to my lips before someone steps from the hallway, wiping his hands on his pants like the courtesy hand rag is too dirty for him.It’s typical for Luka.Nothing is good enough for the prick.

My eyes narrow to slits as I clench the glass bottle, cold condensate wetting my hand.

“Hey, I’m not sharing with your guest,” Fox says around a mouthful of pizza.“That shit comes out of your portion.”

“Luka isn’t staying.”Zinovy finally tosses the remote down and gives me an apologetic look.I ignore it, moving my gaze back to Luka as he walks toward me.

I take a swig of beer and lean against the counter.

“Hey,” Luka says with a nod.

I lift a hand while raising my brows.“What the fuck are you doing here?”

“We need to talk.”

We need to talk.So confident.So commanding.Sopredictable.

“Oh?”

He sighs, folding his arms over his chest.The confidence he oozed a moment ago begins to fade, and his hardened face cracks with a frown.“Five minutes…Please.”

“No.”

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