Page 19 of Let Me

“There is.”

“What’s that?”

“Just be a listening ear.A friend.”

And there it is.Now, I’m officially one of the crew – his friend – and you know what?I don’t mind it.

Happily, I say, “I can definitely do that.”

A smile dances across his lips before he responds, “Good.I need all the friends I can get.”

Ibox up my leftovers and then he walks with me outside and to my car.

“Thank you,” he tells me as we stop next to my driver’s side.

“For what?”I ask, looking up at him.He’s well over six feet.I feel so short next to him.

“First, for sharing a meal with me.Second, for being a listening ear.Third, just for being you.”

I flirted with the idea of smiling, but instead of offering him a full-on smile, I bite it back and say, “You’re thanking me for being me?”

“Yes.You have a presence about yourself that calms me.”

“Then, the next time I hug you, try hugging me back and maybe you’ll feel even more of that presence.”

I step forward and close my arms around his body, squeezing with everything I have.That’s when I feel his arms around me.Finally.He’s not stoic this time.He’s expressing, squeezing me just as tightly as I have him locked in.I close my eyes and allow the sensation to engulf me.I surrender to his warmth, letting the feeling settle deep into my chest.And he talks about howmypresence makes him feel…

His is just as addictive.It’s incomparable to any kind of affection I’ve ever felt before.Soul to soul, we stand in this embrace as the world turns.As the verge of dusk looms above our heads.As I hear his heart slamming against his rib cage.At this moment, we’re the only people who exist.

I don’t want to pull away.I want to stay here.I want him to know that everything is going to be okay.And I know it’s intrusive, but I want to know everything about his diagnosis.When was he diagnosed?How did he find out?What did his treatment entail?Does he have a family history of cancer?

I release him slowly and say, “I hope you enjoy the rest of your evening.”

“I hope you do the same, Autumn.”

“And, you can call me anytime, Judah, you know, if you want to talk or anything.”

“Don’t forget you said that.”

“I won’t, and I mean it.Call me.”

“I will,” he confirms.

I move to get into my car.He tries to reach ahead of me for the handle, but I beat him to it.Still, he holds the door and once I get inside, he closes it and throws up his hand briefly.

I start my car and drive away with tears rolling down my face.I’m a mess for a man I hardly know.I hate that he has to go through this.I feel helpless.That sour feeling in my stomach hasn’t let up and I don’t think it will anytime soon.

It’s close to eight when I arrive at Riley’s house.I couldn’t go home after this.I had to talk to somebody.When I tell her the news, she’s in just as much shock as I am.

“Dang.That’s crazy.Like, who would’ve ever thought?”

“Yeah.I was in tears when he told me.It’s just so…I don’t know.It didn’t sit right with me.Like, I understand life is not fair, you know, but this?”

I sigh, completely at a loss for words.I throw my head back angling it toward the ceiling and close my eyes.

“Well, at least you know.Ay, that’s probably why he’s on that friend thing,” she says, reaching the same conclusion I came up with.“He doesn’t want a relationship because…wow.Oh my God.This is so sad.I feel so sorry for him.”

“Me, too.”

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