Page 47 of Let Me

“I don’t think you know what you want.”

He steps to me, his hand resting on my cheek and after licking his lips, he lowers his mouth to mine.My knees nearly buckle almost instantly at the joining of our mouths.I’ve been dying to feel his lips again.It feels like an eternity since he last kissed me and it has only been a few days.

He shifts his body forward, and using the wall for leverage, he kisses me deeper.My goodness, I love every second of this, but I’d be lying if I said I didn’t hear the warnings in my head.The alarms, the bells and whistles are all sounding at once, telling me that Judah is confused about life.He’s living in limbo.He’s afraid.He’s not ready for the things I’m ready for.But his warm tongue swirling around in my mouth made me ignore all of that.I want him so much.I could love him the right way and undo all the pain that woman caused him.If he needs to cry, I’ll cry with him.I want to laugh with him.Hike with him.I want to be a real part of his life, but I can’t do any of that if he doesn’t let me.

He moans deeply.I settle into the kiss again and hold him as tightly as he’s holding me.His deep kisses nearly scare me as I struggle to breathe, and while he kisses me, I come to some conclusions about him.Judah Westinghouse has been depriving himself of something he desperately needs.

Love.

Affection.

Attention.

Companionship.

He doesn’t have to verbalize it.His actions have said it all.So when he picks me up and carries me to the sofa, I let him.When he lowers me and eases down on top of me, I let him.When he reconnects his mouth to mine again, I let him.

I grip his shoulders and relax after getting used to his weight, letting him get all the love he needs.Never in my life have I been kissed like this.Wait, I take that back.I have.He kissed me like this in the library on Sunday and now, I’m experiencing it again.I nearly convulse off the sofa when Judah trails a kiss from my mouth to my neck.I moan as sensations tear through me, reawakening my need for this kind of affection.

“Judah...”I gasp.

“Yes?”

When I open my eyes, he’s staring directly at me.I smile, my cheeks stretching.Tightening.Warming.

“What are you doing?”I ask.“What are we doing?”

“Kissing.Being together.Enjoying each other.”

“But you don’t want this.”

“I do.I want you.I love being with you, Autumn.”

He dips his head, placing small kisses on my lips.

When I’m able, I say, “I love being with you, too, Judah.You deserve happiness.You deserve to feel the way you feel right now.”

He kisses me again.Oh, I can get used to this.

Whispering in my ear, he asks, “Will you stay with me tonight?”

“I will.How can I say no to you?”

He smiles, eases up off of me, and stands.Reaching for my hand, he helps me up and now, he’s the one lying on the sofa.He invites me to lie on top of him, so that’s what I do.I lie there on a bed of muscles and tatter kisses all around his bearded face.And then I lay my head on his chest and close my eyes.This feels good.It feels like this is where I belong.It feels like…

Home.

Chapter 13

When I get up in the morning and saunter to the living room, my mother is sitting on the sofa.I barely wiped the crust out of my eyes and she’s in my house.

“Ma, what are you doing here?”

“Well, I saw that car in your driveway and I came to investigate.”

“Inves—your key is for emergencies only.”

“This is an emergency.You never have anybody over here.Who is she?”she whispers.“Is she the woman you told me about?”

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