Page 44 of Let Me

“You’re right.I do, but unfortunately, it’s not what I’m going to get.”

“What do you want?Tell me.”

I sigh heavily.I don’t want to respond, but it’sher.If it were anyone else, I would have changed the subject a long time ago.After a drink of water, I say, “What I want is to be normal.I want to wake up in the morning without thinking if this is going to be the morning my life begins its downward spiral.I want to live like I’mlivingand not like I’mdying.I really do want those things, but my mind—” I take a breather.“My mind is in a different place.”

“Where was your mind when you kissed me?”

I smirk.“It was in a much better place.”

“Okay, then.I don’t think almost an entire week should go by without us seeing each other.You’ve created this network of friends in your life, Judah.Use them.Useme.I’ll always be here for you.”

“You say that with confidence.”

“Because Iamconfident.”

I nod.“Okay.”

She glances at her watch.“Do you feel better?”

“I do.”

“Good, because unfortunately, I have to get back to work, but I would like to continue this conversation at your place tomorrow evening.”

“Uh…”

“It doesn’t have to be anything formal,” she says.“In fact, I’ll eat before I come over.I just want to spend some time with you.”

“Okay.That’s cool.”

“Text me your address,” she says.

“Yes, ma’am.”I take out my phone and send her a text with my address.

She confirms receipt, then takes out her credit card.

I say, “Put that away.I got the bill.”

“You don’t have to—”

“I do.You don’t pay for anything when I’m with you.”

She smiles, sliding her card back into her purse.“Thanks, Judah.I appreciate that.”

I stand up, place a fifty on the table, and say, “I’ll walk you out.”

Following her to the door, I dart ahead of her to push it open and then follow her to her car.I’ve already decided I’m not going to cross the line with her again, even though I want to.Even though I know her lips taste like candy and her body feels like heaven in my arms, I tell myself that I can’t take it there with her.The decision pains me, but it’s for her own good.It’s me being completely unselfish – putting her needs ahead of mine.

“I’ll see you later,” she says, then leans in and presses her lips to my face.

My eyes automatically close at the softness as I relive the way we were just a few days ago.It’s torture to think—to know—that I can’t have that again.

“Drive safe, Autumn.”

“I will, the whole five minutes.”

Chapter 12

I could tell he was nervous about me coming to his house, but when I actually get there is when I really feel how tense he is.I’m not sure why.No one should be tense in their own personal space, but he is and very much apparent.

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