I pull back just enough to see his eyes, and he whispers, “You’re safe with me.” The words hit straight in my heart, cracking open the walls I’ve built. I know why I’m dominant in the bedroom—not to hurt anyone, but to reclaim the power stolen from me. My mom’s cracked-up best friend raped me, and her boyfriend touched me... then I never wanted to be touched again. Shore changed that, and yet I can’t easily rid myself of the feelings that lie just below the surface, ready to rise at any trigger.
I help rid Shore of his sodden clothes and lower him to my bed. His legs fall open, and I let my body fall over him. Kissing my way down his jaw, I marvel at how his sun-kissed skin glows beneath my hands. I don’t know how I got so lucky to have met him. He may not believe in soulmates, but I know without a shadow of doubt he is mine. The week before I was moved to the Easton’s home, I tried to kill myself. I swallowed an entire handful of sleeping tablets, enough that I was convinced I’d never wake up. I carefully collected them over many weeks, hiding each one somewhere around the house, so if my mother found them, she wouldn’t know it was me. That night, I lay in the dark and swallowed them all, certain they would silence everything for good.
Instead, I passed out, and that crack whore came into my room as she normally did, and she called 9-1-1. Much to my disgust, I survived. When I asked the nurse if I was in heaven and she told me no, I cried.
My suicide attempt triggered a call to CPS. They’d never known how bad things had been at home, and within days, I was placed with the Eastons. From then on, I was no longer ignored, and for the first time, I felt like I was part of a family that loved me. They saved me, and Shore proved there was someone who would fight for me, even when I had stopped fighting for myself.
“Oh fuck,” he grunts as I lick the salt water from his skin.
I hover over his hips, pressing soft kisses to the hollow of his stomach and trailing a path around his navel. His breath hitches when I move lower and my lips reach the top of his thigh.
Shore spreads his legs further, his muscles trembling beneath my touch as I cup his balls and lift them, placing a final kiss on the sensitive skin above his hole. Then I wet my lips and drag my tongue in a slow, deliberate circle around his rim, feeling the taut muscle respond under my probing.
A low groan rumbles through his chest, and I increase the pressure, flicking my tongue around the tender spot, needing him ready for me. Reaching over with one hand, I slide the bedside table open and pull out the lube, flick the bottle open, and coat my fingers. Coming up for a breath, I run my fingers down his crack and push them inside.
He fists the sheets, hips lifting at each pump of my hand, urging me deeper. When I feel him soften and open beneath me, I pull back and roll him onto his front in one smooth motion. He presses his cheek into the pillow, legs still parted. I waste no time sinking into him from behind, driving forward with slow, deep thrusts until his body quakes beneath me.
This moment doesn’t require words. It’s me pouring my emotions into him, showing him how sorry I am and how muchhe means to me. I’m not normally this soft and tender with him. I love how he likes it rough, so when I get lost in my head, I know he can take it. He is safe if I lose control.
Driving my hips harder against his warm skin, I murmur, “God, Shore, you take me so well.” My hands grip his hips, guiding each thrust as I plunge deeper and faster, until his moans vibrate through me to my core. I lean close, my lips brushing his ear. “You feel so fucking good. You make me want to stay inside you like this forever,” I whisper.
My vision tunnels and pressure coils in my belly until it snaps, sending waves of my release into him. My muscles clench, the world tilts, and I gasp for air.
His name rips from my throat, and for a moment, there is only the thunder of my heartbeat in my ears. Once my brain comes back online, I pull out and collapse next to him, totally spent. He rolls onto his back and I shift to rest my head on his chest. His arms wrap around me, his heart hammering against my ear.
Chapter Twelve
Kinsley
Today is the dreaded day. I wallow as long as I can, but when I pull myself from my bed, I see the canvases I painted and the sketch that Ripley did, and a feeling of happiness sweeps over me. My phone goes nuts on the bedside table, and I pick it up to see it’s Jace. As I answer, his face fills my screen, along with Willow’s and their boyfriends’, and they all sing“Happy Birthday.”
A smile blooms on my face. For a day I thought would be a dark spot in my life, I don’t feel any different. If anything, I feel better than I did before. I have more clarity, and I’m almost certain I’m going to stay here in Bluebell Bay—maybe not permanently, but I am not ready to leave in a few days. Originally the plan was to leave after the festival, and now I’m dreading the thought. Something Shore said has been replaying in my mind: I’m an adult, a wealthy one at that, and if I don’t want to go back, I don’t have to.
It’s a reminder that I’m no longer an eighteen-year-old child sneaking out in the middle of the night, leaving for a college my mother doesn’t want me to go to because it isn’t Sterling Crest School of Design. I’d chosen a small college in a small town with an amazing art program. Not that it mattered; I never made it.
I drove to my boyfriend Teddy’s house with my car packed. We switched everything into his car and left my keys with his mom because I knew my mother would track my car. We were happy, blaring sappy love songs, but I wasn’t watching my surroundings. He drove through a red light and swerved...
Tears run down my face at the memory.
We collided with a small truck. Teddy didn’t seem as hurt as me, though there was a lot of blood—mostly mine. When the paramedics arrived and took us to the hospital, he seemed okay. We were separated so I could get stitched up, then the police came to talk to me. I heard someone screaming, and the sound of nurses and doctors running.
They couldn’t save him, and it was all my fault.
If I had stayed and gone to the school my mother wanted, it never would have happened.
Teddy was only following me; he didn’t care about college. He would have happily gotten a job with one of his uncles, but I had to have a dream. While I can’t change what happened, I think maybe today I finally feel like I can breathe. Teddy wouldn’t have wanted me to hold on to my grief, and I owe it to him to live my life.
Jace finally finishes a second verse of the birthday song, the one about me smelling like a monkey.
“Do you have any plans today?” he asks.
“Not really. I was just thinking about going to the real estate office and seeing if there are any permanent rentals.”
A huge smile pulls at Jace’s lips. “Good for you. Well, make sure you at least buy a cake and call me tonight. These idiots are still naked, and I can feel Micah’s cock on my ass.”
I snort. “Why do you always call me when you’re naked? It’s weird, Jace. When I call you later, you better have underwear on, at the very least.”
“I make no promises.”