Page 66 of The Village Cafe in the Loire

‘I thought you loved it?’

‘I thought I did at first. But it’s amazing what having a suspected heart attack does. Sitting in bed, you think about things. And I realised I haven’t been happy. Not for a long time. Not really.’

‘Oh.’

‘Andno, it’s not your fault.’

‘Am I that bad?’

But Amber was smiling. ‘No. Just busy. Preoccupied. In the middle of your own health crisis.’

‘Health crisis?’

‘The burnout. Like it or not, chick, you were displaying the signs. I’ve been worried about you.’

‘Oh.’ Becky looked down at her hands. ‘I haven’t got much going for me, have I? Shit, burnt out and self-obsessed.’ She was only half joking.

‘Ah, but you do have your good points. I mean, who else is going to let me indulge my obsession with 1990s Hugh Grant movies?’ Amber smiled. Touched her hand.

‘This is true.’

‘Besides, you can’t mess up a lifetime of friendship that easily.’

‘I wish I’d listened more though, about Rufus.’

‘Oh, he’ll get his comeuppance eventually.’

‘Tribunal?’

‘Karma.’

‘Do you want to talk about it?’

Amber shrugged. ‘Not really. He was just a sleaze, basically. He asked me out about ten times in his first month at the firm, then when I said no, he started getting… well, mean. Finding fault, sending me emails. Making me feel… he made me feel as if my job were in trouble every single day.’

‘What a bastard.’

‘Yeah. And I’ve got a lot more to say about it, believe me. But right now, can we talk about something else?’

‘Sure. Sorry.’

‘It’s OK. Just don’t want to waste any oxygen on him.’

‘So what will you do now? When you get out, I mean?’

Amber raised an eyebrow. ‘Go back to Mum’s for a bit. Get pampered and worried over. What else can I do? Try to figure out my next steps. Get some sort of online job if I can. If I can even do that.’ Her face crumpled slightly on the last sentence, but she regained control of herself. ‘I’ll be OK. You can get back to your café, your Pascal.’

‘He’s notmyPascal.’ Becky thought of his eyes; that moment of feeling they’d known each other forever, then the conversation she’d heard on the phone; his easy dismissal of life in Vaudrelle. ‘And it’s just a café.’

‘Is it though? You actually seemed really happy.’

‘Yeah. I thought I was. But all this… It made me realise it’s not real life is it, Amber? This is. Being here for my friends, doing my job. Getting on in life. That… the French thing was a bubble. And it was lovely. And yes, perhaps I did have afantasythat I might stay for a bit.’ Becky laughed, softly. ‘But it was a fantasy. Being back here, having distance, I can see it now. It was a bit like being drunk.’

‘What, and this is the hangover?’ Amber raised an eyebrow.

‘OK, maybe more like having a daydream. But then coming to. Realising how things are.’

‘You’re seriously not going back to France?’

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