Page 85 of Midnight in Paris

‘Oh, God, it’s not that. I was just thinking how… well, different our lives are,’ Sophie admitted. ‘I’m jealous really.’

‘You could always make a career change.’

‘Ah, not that. Although, yeah, sometimes I’d love to. More that you seem at the beginning of things – it’s exciting. I’m happy for you. But it makes me feel kind of… washed up in comparison.’

‘You?’ Sam seemed incredulous.

‘Yeah, you know. In my thirties. Widowed. It’s hardly living the dream, is it.’ She gave a wan smile and sipped her wine again, trying to deflect any sympathy.

‘Sophie, is that how you see yourself?’ Sam shook her head. ‘You know how much in awe I am of you? You have this great career, and it’s not one that everyone can do, is it? And yeah, you’ve had some hard times, but you’ve picked yourself up. You’re doing OK. I mean, you are… aren’t you?’

Sophie nodded. It didn’t sound quite so desperate, described like that.

‘Are you still rowing with Will?’ her sister added, raising an inquisitive eyebrow. ‘How’s all that going?’

A flash of annoyance rose in her. ‘It’s not going at all,’ she said. ‘To be honest, I’m kind of distancing myself from him.’

‘Oh. Sorry. Why? He seemed like a really nice guy.’

‘He is.’ She stopped, looking down at her almost empty glass and swirling the last of the wine around its base. ‘I just… I’m not ready for anything, you know?’

‘And he wants that?’

She shrugged. ‘You know what, I think I wanted that too. Just for a moment. And it’s been nice spending time with him, doing the rowing, that kind of thing. But it just feels…’

‘How does it feel?’ Sam asked softly.

‘As if I’m cheating on Tom.’

Sam looked at her. ‘Oh, Soph!’

‘Well, yeah. I mean, moving on to anyone new would be… hard enough. But Will? They were friends for years!’

Sam nodded. ‘Yeah, I see that. But I’m not sure… I don’t know if I agree, if I’m honest.’

‘What do you mean?’

‘Well, firstly, Tom’s been gone almost two years.’

‘Nineteen months.’

‘OK, well, nineteen months. It’s a long time, Soph. In some ways at least. And if there’s a chance to be happy, to have someone to love again, I don’t think Tom would want you to pass that up.’

She shrugged. ‘Maybe.’

‘I mean, didn’t you talk about this? Before he… died?’

‘Yeah, a bit. He told me to go out and live my life.’

‘Well then!’

‘He didn’t tell me to go and live it with his best friend!’

‘Soph, you’re being ridiculous. You know how hard it is to find someone you can really relate to?’ Sam shook her head. ‘It’s impossible. But you’ve found that with Tom. And now maybe Will. Does it really matter that they were friends? Maybe Tom would have liked the idea of Will kind of being there for you. Rather than some stranger.’

She nodded. ‘Maybe,’ she said again.

‘So, why not just see where it leads?’

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