Page 77 of Midnight in Paris

‘But… how?’

‘That’s what I asked,’ Libby told her. ‘And she said you just have to kind of keep doing the things… you know. Get up, have a shower, wear something nice, eat, work, go through the motions. And that eventually your mind catches up. Realises you are living anyway. Kind of demotes the worry.’

‘I just don’t think I could…’

‘But you have to,’ Libby said. ‘For Tom. He needs you to do that. To be strong in the face of it all. And you know, he’s here right now. He’s relatively OK. And who knows what might happen in the future. Good things, maybe. But if not, then this time is even more precious.’

Sophie fiddled with the zip on the suitcase. ‘Yeah, I get that,’ she said.

‘I know. It’s not easy. But like Mum says, a lot of the time, you or someone you love, or even other people, farther away, are going through something awful. If you let it floor you each time, you’d never get up at all.’

‘She’s pretty wise, your mum.’

‘I know.’

‘Mine just told me to make sure we were eating properly.’

‘Oh, Soph. But you know, it’s kind of the same thing. Keeping on, in spite of it.’

‘If you say so.’

‘And I suppose Tom’s parents have thrown money at the problem.’

‘Just a bit.’

‘Well, I mean. That can’t hurt, I suppose.’

The door to the flat opened, signalling Tom’s return. ‘I’d better go,’ Sophie said. ‘But thanks. You’ve really helped.’

By the time Tom entered the room, she was standing next to the packed suitcase, her phone squirrelled away. ‘OK?’ she asked him.

‘Not too bad. Apart from the late-stage cancer, that is.’ He grinned and she tried to mirror him.

‘Ha. Well, yes. There is that.’ She walked up to him and wrapped her arms around his neck, leaning in to kiss him deeply.

‘What’s that for?’ he asked.

‘Just love you,’ she said simply. ‘Now come on, let’s get your case packed too.’

‘You’re sure you’re OK with going?’

‘Pretty much. And you know, it’ll be good for us. To get away for a couple of nights.’

He nuzzled into her. ‘Thank you.’

She blinked rapidly to ward off threatened tears. ‘You’re welcome. Let’s go have the holiday of a lifetime.’

41

NOW

It had been a few weeks later when she’d first noticed how much fitter she’d become, Sophie remembered as she wandered through to the living room and curled up on the sofa, enjoying the silence; the chance to process.

She’d noticed as she got changed after the shower that she actually had a bicep muscle. She’d flexed it in the bathroom mirror, feeling weirdly pleased with herself. She’d never craved a muscular frame, but it was nice to see that rowing was making a difference to her body.

Twice a week now, she made her way to the club where she’d join Will for a morning row. They worked together in unison, often silently, pushing away the water and the thoughts and everything except that moment in time. Once or twice she’d even been out by herself.

Now, parking in her usual spot, she exited the car and realised that although she had a physical activity ahead, she feltprimed and ready for it. This must be what being fit feels like, she thought to herself with a small smile.

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