Page 93 of The Outsider

We fed the hens, then began the walk back to the farmhouse with our basket of eggs.

“I should talk to her about it,” she said, resigned. “She’s just…super sensitive about it, and sometimes will pull away even more if I come across too confrontational.”

“All you can do is your best. If she needs space to figure out what her place is here, then it’s okay to give it to her. But you don’t have to wait around for her, either.”

Kimmy sighed. “I guess. I’m glad to be going back to work soon. I need the distraction.”

A few days after that, Kimmy went back to the clinic to treat patients, while John was to begin his new outrider duties, which mostly involved patrolling and responding to complaints and emergencies. He also briefed Danny about the Order, detailing our experiences with them, and I drew a sketch of their masks for reference.

“I doubt we’ll have problems with them this far away,” John said as I handed Danny the sketch. “But they’re a real threat, and they seem hungry for power, so…you never know, I guess.”

Danny nodded thoughtfully. “Best to keep our eyes open, in any case.”

The morning after that, I went with John to the small outrider office in the Lodge that they used as a central command center. The outriders on patrol communicated by radio with Danny, who, as Chief, was usually the one manning the desk.

They held a small oath-taking ceremony in the office, where John pledged to follow and enforce council law, guard their borders, render aid when needed, and to protect the Valley and everyone in it to the best of his abilities. He gave me a pointed look when he said the last part, and I smiled. John wasn’t one to express pride in himself, but he was practically glowing. His happiness was infectious.

“Congrats, man,” Danny said, shaking John’s hand. “You’re finally in. Don’t think you’re off the hook, though. Your initiation just started.”

John grinned. “Got it.”

Danny handed him his new handheld radio, then sent us on our way. John would have his first patrol shift the next day.

“Command to Ghost,” the radio buzzed as we walked out to the truck. “Do you copy?”

As if he’d been doing it his whole life, John lifted the radio to his lips and replied, “Ghost to command. I copy.”

“Good,” came Danny’s reply. “No escape now, rookie. You’re stuck with us.”

I chuckled, then asked, “Why does he call you Ghost?”

“Precaution,” John replied, caging me against the truck door with his arms. “It’s unlikely anyone could hear the calls outside theValley—the mountains block out everything—but just in case, we use our horses’ names.”

Happiness lit up his handsome features, and I couldn’t help touching his cheek. The roughness of his stubble under my palm contrasted the tender look he gave me.

“Look at you, achieving your dreams,” I said, touching his cheek. “We should celebrate you tonight.”

He grinned and turned his head to kiss my wrist. “I know what kind of celebration I’d like. It involves a certain someone getting naked and waiting for me, bent over the bed.”

“Well, I hope that someone is me, or else I have a lot of questions.”

He laughed and kissed me. “Luckily, it is you. The first few months of duty tend to be rough, from what I’ve heard, so I have to give you a night to remember. Something to keep you warm on those nights I’m on patrol.”

John wasn’t wrong; his new schedule was brutal. New recruits had to take the overnight shifts that nobody wanted as a kind of initiation, plus they had to work more hours than the more senior outriders. Suddenly, he was gone almost every night and slept during the days, which meant that I saw him less and less as we headed into February.

I was proud, but I missed him, especially as I was trying to find my place here. Any free time we did have together, however, he took me on horseback rides, showing me more of the Valley and teaching me how to ride. It was always my favourite part of any given day—pressed against John’s warm, hard body on Ghost’s back, learning the many things he simply knew, as if by instinct.

I still hadn’t chosen a community job, and no one seemed in a hurry to give me one. The idea of teaching was still there, hovering in the back of my mind, but I hesitated. I’d broached the subject with Asha again one evening, when John was patrolling, and Kimmy had gone to visit Isla.

“It might make our case stronger if we offer together,” I said as we sat together at the kitchen table. “And Jenna is eager to learn. It’d be good for her to see different teaching styles, and you have a better grasp on teaching science and math than I do.”

Asha was quiet. This was the first night she’d been home in several days. She always had a restlessness about her now, as if staying in oneplace was unbearable. I wondered if the trip here had conditioned her to always want to be on the move.

“I don’t want to be a teacher,” she finally said after several minutes. “I never loved it like you did, and I don’t want to deal with the Wastelanders here more than I have to.”

I frowned. “Including Kimmy? Because it sounds like you’ve been ghosting her a lot lately.”

Her mouth thinned into a hard line.

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