Page 89 of Joy Guardian

“No food can compare to this,” I exhaled once the kiss had ended. “Nothing tastes as good as your kisses, Kurai.”

He slid his thumb along my bottom lip, wet and warm from his kiss.

“Better than sweet,” he said softly. “The most beautiful taste ever. And the most exquisite pleasure.”

“How can you feel it without your tendrils?”

“I feel because I remember it, Ciana. I remember everything. Every kiss, every touch, every one of your orgasms.”

My face heated from all those memories. And with that, my confusion about my feelings grew. I wanted Kurai. He fit all my pieces so perfectly together, filled all the gaps, and healed the cracks. But there was one thing he couldn’t do. He still could not defeat my fear.

As he leaned in for another kiss, I shifted back.

“Kurai, I’m sorry. I…”

He paused, giving me time, but I had nothing else to say. When I couldn’t explain the things I was feeling to myself, how could I explain them to him?

“Do you want the sleeping pallets together or apart?” Kurai asked after dinner.

Without any discussion, he and I ended up sharing the tent. It was somehow decided by everyone that the two of us would spend the day together, and I certainly didn’t even think to object to that. But now I pondered my reply.

On one hand, I always felt far more comfortable when Kurai and I were close rather than apart.

But on the other hand, with all the confusion reigning inside me now, I didn’t want to keep giving him wrong signals. Kuraisaid that he loved me. And instead of cherishing his confession, it scared the shit out of me.

It didn’t seem fair to desire his closeness when I couldn’t reciprocate his feelings.

“Um, well…” I bit my lip, glancing up at him, then dropping my gaze. “Together is better for warmth, right?”

That was a stupid statement when the heat outside was literally rising by the minute. A true challenge while sleeping during the day storm in the desert was keeping cool, not staying warm.

But Kurai nodded quickly, shoving our pallets close to each other. “Together it is then.”

I kept my skirt on and made sure to stay right in the middle of my sleeping pallet, with a few inches of space between him and me.

“If you want to cuddle, you can,” Kurai offered.

It was the only invitation I needed to scoot closer to him and curl against his chest. Peace descended on me as I inhaled his warm familiar scent.

Voices reached us through the thin canvas walls. Sakin appeared to be arguing with his brother over the space in their shared tent.

I giggled when Raimus called Sakin “a bloated oaf.” By human standards, that description didn’t fit any of the shadow fae who were generally a fit and graceful kind.

“It’s you who fucking spreads like a blob in your sleep, taking all the space and then some,” Sakin snapped back.

“Where did you find them?” I asked Kurai.

“Actually, they were the ones who found me while I laid passed out in the desert.”

My heart dropped at the terrible memory of being snatched away from him.

“After I cut your tendrils?” Guilt gutted me anew.

Kurai stroked my back soothingly.

“You saved my life by doing it, sweetheart. There was no way Iwould’ve let go of you otherwise. I feared you’d die without my magic.”

“I didn’t exactly die, but I passed out for a while. Elaine gave me food and water to revive me. She was another human woman in the cage with me. They took her and the others away to sell them.”

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