Page 88 of Rome: The Ballerina

Without knowing what was to come, I agreed. “I promise, Teddy.”

“Rule number one, maintain your dignity and self-respect in every situation. Don’t do anything you don’t want or anything that doesn’t align with your moral compass. Use the brain you were given. Rule number two, never give a nigga the chance to do it to you twice, because he will. Every fucking time. You can’t afford the benefit of doubt in relationships. And, frankly, niggas don’t deserve it.

“Rule number three, maintain your individuality. Do not get so caught up in his world that you forget to cultivate one of your own. Your identity is yours. Make sure it stays that way. Rule number four, compensation is key. Make him pay from day one, just in case he decides to act up by day three. Rule number five–” he paused, “Your job isn’t to make a man’s life easier.

“An easy life is an undesirable life for a man. We bore too easily. Keep him on his toes. Keep him worrying. Wondering. Confused. Make sure he understands that you’re the center of his world and not the other way around. It’ll keep him busy, baby.”

Nothing more was said. I digested the information I’d been given and stored it for safe keeping.

“Up, Rome. On your feet.”

I placed my feet on the floor.

“I’m up.”

“Good. I’ll talk to you lat–”

“Wait. Teddy.”

“Yeah?”

“Is that what happened with Egypt?”

He chuckled, lightly. It was rare, hearing that sound come from Chemistry’s mouth. My heart sped up slightly. A smile curled my lips upward.

“Well–is it?”

“Worried. Wondering. Confused. Furious. Obsessed. Entitled. Jealous. And, catching bodies. Egypt’s strategy was risky, baby. You’re not that kind of crazy. Keep it light. Keep it classy. Keep it cool. Don’t do what Egypt did, or I’ll be on the next flight to Clarke. De Bacco won’t have to do it. I will.”

The call ended as I exhaled, knowing Teddy meant every word he’d said. And while I’d listened carefully, it was his approval I was mostly intrigued by.

My fingers were hardly moving fast enough to find the SZA playlist I’d curated. It took a full minute to get the songs in rotation. But, when the first beat dropped, I sprung up from my bed and placed my hands in the air. My hips swayed from side to side as I greeted the day with hydrated skin and a single reason to smile.

Teddy-approved, I stamped Saint.

I spun around, slowly, grooving to the tunes. Conquering the world often felt easier than pleasing Chemistry. Donating life-sustainable organs often felt easier than gaining his approval. So, the high I was on was valid. It was grounding. It was gratifying.

I continued my reel into the bathroom where I brushed my teeth, washed my face, and emptied my bladder. The coolness of the floor made my skin tighten. I scolded myself mentally for not remembering to adjust the temperature before going to bed.

4:49a.

I ended my celebration with my water bottle up to my lips. In a few seconds, I finished off the cold water that had survived the night with me. I strolled through my bedroom and into my dressing room where I began to pull the threads of my shorts apart to accommodate my thighs.

The shorts were the first on. Next was the matching sports bra. Lastly was the jacket that zipped up to my neck. Before spritzing my body with perfume, I slid into a pair of brownsocks that were at least six shades darker than my clothes. The chocolate ruffles around the top were the reason I was obsessed with them.

Skin–dewcoated my skin. I slid the creamy body butter up my legs, down my arms, and across my chest. My skin glistened even under the absence of the sun’s glow.

I met my reflection in the mirror. The silk scarf slid from my head with ease. The fluffy scrunchie had held my pony in place through the night. Nodding, I approved the result.

My fingers worked in partnership to plait my natural hair. I secured the end with a small, black hair tie.

4:54a.

I descended the stairs and headed toward the kitchen. I removed the fresh fruit I’d sliced the previous night. I popped a few pieces of strawberries in my mouth and the rest went into the vase of filtered water in the fridge. I added lime, lemon, and pineapple to the compartment designed for infusion. Carefully, I poured a generous amount in a glass before placing the lids back on and putting everything in their rightful places.

4:58a.

I placed the empty glass in the sink and swallowed the remainder of the semi-flavored water. As I exited my home, I secured the weighted vest on my shoulders and snapped it near my belly. The second my feet touched the porch, the sprint began.

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