Page 55 of Rome: The Ballerina

When I returned, she was in her rightful place. I lowered my body to fit into the fine machinery. The engine roared as I lowered both doors. The sounds of my stereo vibrated the steering wheel as I reversed out of the garage in pursuit of Huff Theater of Clarke. My baby was waiting.

TWO

Remain calm.

Remain collected.

Remain confident.

My chest rose and fell as I lowered the top half of my body, folding myself in half. To the left of me was Romeo, the male lead for the production in play. To the right of me was Aliza, applying pressure to my hand as the curtain closed in front of us.

The second it hit the floor, everyone’s limbs loosened. My feet fell from grace, landing in first position, naturally. At this point of my career, it was as if my body believed it belonged there. Always ready for the next position. Always ready for the next set of instructions.

Cheers roared all around me. I placed a hand on my chest to calm my beating heart. The sound of my sister’s chanting caused me physical pain.Heartache. It was a reminder that even when I wasn’t in her line of vision, she was still rooting for me. Loud. Clear.Proud.

She wasn’t clapping for Royce. She was clapping for Roaman, Roulette, Rugger, Richie, Rhea, Chemistry, Rather, and Range. The full showcase was a special treat that I’d learned about at the very last minute. It was my first day back on stage. Though I was home, I felt like a fish out of water.

The cast was new. The director was someone I’d only heard great things about but never met personally. The set was much different from the last one. And, so much had changed in five years.

“I love you, Rome! You’re a born star, baby.”

Her voice was anchoring. I was grounded in her words, yet lifted by her love. It was profound. Alone in the audience, I couldn’t wait to wrap my arms around her neck and feel her heartbeat against mine.

I wasn’t sure how this moment would feel, but it was everything and nothing at once. I was reeling but I was regretting ever staying away for so long. My heart patted against my chest, trying to break through my skin.

My family would come to the opening night. It was still so far away. The special performance tonight was simply an open rehearsal, extended to family and friends interested in seeing what the cast had been working on. I hadn’t been working with them.

In fact, I’d been working alone in front of a computer screen. My presence here wasn’t by chance, but it wasn’t planned either. Tiana’s untimely health decline was my ticket to center stage. This was her show. Yet, here I was filling such wonderful shoes. I was beyond capable and production knew it. Tiana knew it,which was why she made the recommendation before things went south for her.

They tried for a full week to reach me. Once they got a hold of me, I agreed to fill the position out of sheer love and honor for Tiana. She was more than a ballet associate of mine. In some lifetime, she was a friend. Possibly my only friend besides the women I shared blood with.

“Oh, just wonderful. Spectacular. So angelic. So natural,” Aliza breathed out, pulling me into her arms.

Unlike the others in the production, she was welcoming. Supportive. And, extremely helpful since I’d walked in the door.

“So were you.”

I accepted her embrace which was quickly followed by Romeo’s. His hands wrapped around my body and squeezed me tightly.

“You’re a fucking angel on the floor. The way your body defies gravity so elegantly– girl. Where have you been all these years?” He asked, trying to catch his breath.

“Resting,” I admitted.

“And this is how you perform after resting for a year? I’d hate to have seen you before the rest,” he responded, letting me go.

“I was still dancing, but only a little. Nothing in comparison to this–” I exhaled. “Just children learning the art. Small things.”

You’re blabbering. I warned.

The amount of words pouring from my mouth was baffling. The curtains began to lift, again. Friends and family gathered in the pit, waiting for their loved ones. My sister’s face was the only one visible. Everything around us blurred. She nodded toward the side of the stage, signaling her departure.

“Excuse me.” I started toward the back of the stage where I was certain Royce would be waiting.

“Wait–” Aliza called out. “I have to introduce you to my mom.”

She was galloping across the stage already. Her endearment halted me when I wanted nothing more than to get to my sister. Her arms were the only arms I was interested in being between.

Aliza lowered, grabbing the hand of a woman. She waved me over, prompting me to follow her. I fought the urge to leave, because deep down inside there was an urge to comply that was far more overwhelming. It wasn’t unfamiliar.

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