Page 119 of Rome: The Ballerina

“You caught me. I’m n–”

Words lodged in my throat. My lips pursed as I squinted to read the perfectly scribed words around the entire rim of the white glass dish.

Be mine, Mellow.The top half of the rim read.

The saxophone grew louder, now accompanied by a violin, playing the most beautiful melody. While it felt familiar, I couldn’t place a finger on it. I couldn’t place a finger on anything but the words I was staring at.

In this lifetime. The bottom half read.

Saint’s fingers never stopped caressing my skin as his words did the same for my heart. My eyes pricked with elation and sadness and joy and fear and peace and relief and all the other things I was feeling inside. I stared at the messenger through blurry eyes, yet I could see him clearly. I could hear him, though he hadn’t said a word. And, I could feel him. Always had. In every lifetime.

“Said I promise to never fall in love with a stranger. You’re all I’m thinking of. I praise the Lord above. For sending me your love. I cherish every hug,” Saint sang lowly, drawing circles on my arm.

He sounded like shit. I knew, and so did he. But, he made the words of the song flow in my head.

“All my life. I prayed for someone like you. And, I thank God that I finally found you.”

Chuckling, I diverted my eyes momentarily. But, his presence didn’t let me linger for long. My eyes were back on him in seconds.

“I’m thinking, right here… right now… I make my intentions very clear, Rome,” he confessed, “I want you to be mine. Not just on the weekends. Not just during the season. Not just when either of us feels like it. Not just when we’re happy. Not just when we need someone in our corner. But, always. Every day. The good ones. The bad ones. All of them.

“And, once we get into the hang of this thing, fall head over heels for one another, and know we’re ready– I want to make you my wife. Then, the mother of my children. And, lastly, the woman I retire next to. Mellow, will you be mine? I don’t remember the others, but I’d appreciate a reminder in this lifetime. Show me why I should search for you sooner next time. Find you faster. Wait for you longer.”

Tears stained my cheeks. I swiped them with urgency. They were few, but they were humbling. I’d often imagined my wait was in vain. Though discernment assured me it wasn’t, it got lonely and loud sometimes. But, here he was, proving I wasn’t wrong and that everything would be alright now.

“What you say, Rome? Think we can make each other’s dreams come true–together?”

I nodded, cleaning my face.

“Yes. Yes, we can.”

It was happening for me. He was happening for me.

Saint stood up and rounded the table. He kneeled before me and took my hand into his. I observed as he waited for my emotions to settle and my composure to be collected. Once I was ready, he began.

“I need you to hear me when I say that I can be everything you’ve ever dreamt I was and more. Not just because this is your new reality and I’m entitled to your space and energy, but because I’m real. My heart is real. My life is real. My adoration for you is real. My desire to be with you is real.

“My yearning to be around you is real. My anticipation for a life together is real. My happiness when you’re near is real. And the fact that I won’t be on my knees too many more times before asking you to be my wife is real. So, enjoy this phase while it lasts because it won’t last too long. I feel it right here.”

He lifted my hand and pressed it against his rapidly beating chest.

“I’m falling, Rome, and I’m not looking for a motherfucker to save me from where I’m headed. I like it here. As long as you’re the destination.”

“Keep falling,” I advised, “Until you feel what I’ve always felt.”

“Say no more, baby,” he responded as he kissed my cheek.

He rose and traveled the short distance to his side of the table. When he finally sat down, he exhaled the breath he’d been holding. A smile planted itself right on his face.

I chuckled. “Were you afraid I’d deny you?”

He shook his head. “Partly, but it hardly would’ve mattered.”

“Is that so?”

I popped a piece of meat into my mouth.

“I didn’t need your permission for you to be mine, but it is good to have it,” he explained, “Damn good to have it.”

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