Page 23 of Knot Gonna Give You Up

“Come here, please?”

Simon hesitates for a moment before taking my hand and moving closer to me.

“At least take a good smell, tell me what you think,” I suggest softly.

He leans in close, first taking a deep inhale at my neck, greedily taking in my own scent first. Then he moves down to my shirt and chest, taking his time to savor Josie’s smell. It’s not the same need that he had smelling me, but I can tell he doesn’t hate it. I can tell his dick doesn’t hate it either.

“Fuck,” he groans softly.

Hook, line, and sinker.

“Amazing, right?”

“I’ve never smelled something that feels like a slap in the face before. It’s amazing, so full of cinnamon and sweetness. I almost want to lick your shirt,” he says with a small smile.

“So what’s your hesitation?” I ask. “I can see your brain working through some shit, and while I know you and Mr. Happy down there like the smell, you’re not as pleased as I had hoped.”

He sits back in his own space, licking his lips as if the scent is tangible to his tongue. Closing his eyes, he heaves a deep sigh, putting his words together as best he can.

“There’s no guarantee that a Match is there for me, or that she’ll even like me. If one is there, she can reject me as a Match. If one isn’t there, she might just reject me to get you all to herself. If she wants a full Pack, I don’t know if I can do it.” He shrugs.

I reach out and take his chin gently, holding his face so he’s looking at me.

“I don’t want to lose either of you. I refuse to do it. We’ll find a way to make it work even if Josie doesn’t like you. If, for whatever reason, you guys don’t get along, we’ll find a way to make it work. I swear it.”

“I want to believe you, but it’s really hard when everything feels so off-kilter.”

Using my hand, I pull his face to mine and kiss him gently, trying to convey to him that he matters without being pushy. I may not be an Alpha, but I can be just as pushy as one. Knowing the situation is delicate, I try to handle it as such. There’s something Simon isn’t telling me, and I bet it’s about what happened to him. He’s never told me the full story of his bad experience, and I’ve never asked. It might be time to have some serious discussions.

We pull apart and look at each other for a moment before my mouth starts running again. “I think there’s some other shit that we need to talk through as well.”

Simon sighs and leans against the back of the couch. “Okay, give it to me.”

“Did you feel the Pack Pull to the guy from the coffee shop the other day?” I ask.

I’m not sure if Simon will admit to it one way or the other, but his reaction to the guy makes me think the pull was there. I know he’s generally uninterested in Pack, but he’s not cold or stand-offish as a rule. So, why the hesitance? I brace myself, telling my brain that I need to remain calm for Simon so he doesn’t feel attacked.

He sighs, “I’m not sure, but maybe?”

“Have you felt it before?” I ask.

“Yeah,” Simon murmurs. I almost don’t hear him because he’s talking so quietly.

“You don’t have to tell me until you’re ready, but I’m curious why you’re so hesitant. Do you think I’m going to abandon you?”

Simon’s hands cover his face, muffling his answer, “Yeah, I’m afraid of that.”

My eyebrows shoot sky high. I hadn’t actually thought he’d feel that way. It makes sense, though, now that I think about it. He’s happy enough to be physical, and when it’s just me, everything is great, but his insecurity skyrockets when others come into play. He doesn’t play games or push anyone away, but he does get really quiet and keeps to himself. I reach out hesitantly and put my hand on his knee.

“Simon, I’m never going to abandon you.”

I hear a sigh filter between his hands. “That’s what they said, too.”

Frowning, I turn my body fully toward his, making sure I keep contact with him.

“Tell me, Si, please.”

Hands falling from his face, he looks at me with watery eyes, and I gaze back steadily at him. Trying to show him, without words, that I’m here for him. I always will be, even if he decides to reject the Pack Pull and go his own way. If he does, it’ll hurt like hell, but I want him happy.

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