Page 38 of Smoke

He nodded.

“Who the fuck was it?” I asked. My words were much sharper than I intended and I knew the anger bubbling in my belly would only cause more angry words to pour out of my mouth if I didn’t get control of it.

“It doesn’t matter, Smoke. They’re dead now. All of them.”

“It does fucking matter, Jasper! They tried to kill us.”

Tugging his long beard, he sighed and sat down. “My brother and some of his men.”

“Your brother?” I wasn’t surprised to hear that Jasper’s family had tried to kill us—I knew first hand how evil blood could treat you—but I was surprised to hear he had a brother. I’d been under the impression he had no family.

“Yeah. Look, I don’t want you to worry about it. He wasn’t bright. He managed to get his claws into someone that is and that person found me and managed to gain access to my system and your phones. The important thing is they’re all done and dead and you’re safe. Everyone is safe.”

“You killed your brother?” I asked, not judgmentally. I knew firsthand how easy it was to kill someone vile even when that someone was of blood relation.

“I did.”

“Are you okay?”

He snorted, “Only you’d ask if I was okay after I admit I killed my own fucking brother.”

“Are you, though?”

“All of this, the entire foundation for what I do, was because of my baby sister Kali. Our mom died when Kali was born and my dad always blamed her. He treated her like shit. I tried to protect her, but I couldn’t be everywhere, all of the time. I got her out, thought I had her safe with relatives, but our dad’s sins ran deep. He owed some really bad people a lot of money and they killed Kali as a promise of what was to come if he didn’t pay up. She was sixteen when she was killed. I felt… I still feel like my whole life ended at nineteen. Dad valued his own life more than his damn blood’s. She’d been tortured, so badly bruised I almost didn’t recognize her. I found him, killed him. You think what you did to your dad was bad? I danced in his blood as he lay dying. My brother, Desmond, never forgave me for killing Dad. He didn’t see how evil he was. I hadn’t seen Desmond for almostfifteen years. I guess that’s enough time to let a grudge grow big enough to take action on it.”

“That’s a heavy weight to carry, Jasper. A lot of heavy weight.”

“I feel like it was all for nothing, though. No matter how many people I kill, I’m never going to bring Kali back. The last few weeks I realized I’m not really living either, but without this, I don’t know who I am,” he said, standing again.

“You know it’s never too late to discover who you are, Jasper.”

He grinned, but I could tell it was fake. His haunted eyes stared straight through me.

***

“Can I talk to you?” Kay asked, coming into my office.

“Yeah, shut the door behind you,” I said, closing my laptop and giving her my full attention. Judging by the look on her face, it was serious.

“I know it’s not my place to say anything, but I’m really worried, Smoke. I’m so worried I haven’t been able to sleep lately and I think maybe I’ll just feel better if I get it off my chest.”

Concern filled me. Had I done something to upset Kay? Had I caused her turmoil?

“You can talk to me about anything, Kay. You’re so dear to me,” I told her, trying to give her the encouragement she needed to continue.

To my horror, her eyes filled with tears and her lip trembled. “Kay, what is it?” I asked, standing and going to sit on the edge of my desk in front of her. I held a box of tissues out to her to take.

She took one before dabbing the corner of her eyes. “I just think you all are making such a big mistake taking these jobs. I know you’re hurting and you’re trying to avenge the people who have been taken from you or get revenge on the people who hurt you, but the truth is nothing you do is ever going to bring them back or heal the pain of your pasts. I’m so scared you’re going tocost yourself the happiness that those Little girls can bring you if you all keep going down this path,” she said before sobbing into the tissue.

“Kay, I’m so sorry we’ve been causing you so much distress. You’re so special to us and I hate that I didn’t know how distraught you were. You’re absolutely right, though. I’ve been feeling the same way for several days. Carrying the weight of the anxiety I’ve given Ashley was eating at me and I talked to our boss today. I left the team, Kay.”

Big teary eyes looked up, locking onto mine. “You did?”

“I did,” I confirmed.

I reached out taking her hand, “But, Kay, thank you for being willing to do the hard thing and talk to me about how you were feeling. You’re a great friend.”

“I just want to see you live, Smoke. You’ve been more alive these last few weeks than I’ve ever seen you.”

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