Page 61 of The Arrogant's Redemption

"Jodie told me everything. She begged you to listen. She wanted to tell you she was pregnant, but instead, you ran off to have your fun—because I know you were with another woman. I hope you suffer for the rest of your life, you bastard! I hope your heart bleeds every time you remember the two lives you destroyed. Not just the woman who loved you—but your own flesh and blood. You killed Jodie and your baby. Maybe you’ll kill the man you called your brother, too. You’re a monster."

I look at William and Athanasios, silently pleading for them to tell me it’s not true. No one told me she was pregnant, and I don’t remember seeing anything about it in her file.

"I only found out once she was already in surgery," Athanasios says. "It looked like it was early on, but we’ll know for sure in a few hours. By the time she got to the hospital, she’d already miscarried. There was nothing we could do."

I take a step back, a pain I never imagined possible locking up my body and short-circuiting my brain.

The last few phone calls with her flash through my mind.

The way she begged me to listen. The way she cried when she talked about the future.

It wasn’t just about us. It was aboutourchild.

"I’d tell you to go to hell, LJ," Sheila says, "but I don’t think that’s necessary. I can see it on your face—you’re already there."

Alexis

CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE

"I'm fine,"my mother repeats over and over. "It's you I'm worried about."

"How, Mom? Why are you thinking about me when you're the one stuck in this place?"

I finally break. A lifetime of pain and well-hidden fear . . . I’m exhausted. I’m only twenty-three, but I feel drained, trapped in this crazy world.

I’ve held it together until now, but I can’t hide, not today, how alone and terrified I feel.

Three days after the attack, my mom was discharged from the hospital. The wound turned out to be far more superficial than they initially thought, but that didn’t make the panic I felt any less real.

I’ve started talking to God again. I made every promise I could think of if only she could be freed from the accusations that damn prosecutor insists on pursuing.

I sold the boat to the first buyer who showed interest after everyone else backed out—and oddly enough, the man paid more than twice what it was worth. Now I have all the moneywe need to pay our lawyers, and riding the wave of courage that started with that crazy weekend with LJ, I told Badger I wouldn’t be working atThe Ugly Shrimpanymore. I’m going to follow through on my plan to make real money with my YouTube channel and my podcast.

The audience has been growing for a long time, and cowardice was the only thing keeping me from acting sooner. But after throwing myself into the arms of a man like LJ, what could possibly scare me more than losing my mother? I don’t think much else can frighten me anymore.

The thought makes my chest tighten when I realize he hasn’t called or contacted me since he left that morning. But he said he’d be back this weekend.

Today’s already Sunday, silly,a mocking voice says inside my head.The weekend’s over, and he never came. When will you realize your worst fears came true? He’s already moved on.

Since the weekend began, I’ve cleaned the house three times. And Friday morning, even while furious at myself for doing it, I rode my bike past LJ’s cousin’s house—just to confirm it was empty.

"I’ll get out of here, Alexis. My faith in justice is unshakable. If not in man’s, then in God’s. He wouldn’t let me pay for a crime I didn’t commit. Now tell me this story about quittingThe Ugly Shrimp."

I tell her about the boat and my decision to invest in the career I really want.

"So you dropped out of college?"

"Mom, what’s the point? Rack up two hundred thousand dollars in student loans, only to end up doing what I love anyway—which is researching and narrating true crime? I got two more sponsors for my shows this week."

She places her hand over mine on the table, and I clench my jaw when I see her arm still wrapped in bandages. I never thought of myself as violent, but since my mother was hurt, I feel capable of anything.

"No, I don’t think you should chase a degree just for pride, not if it’s not what you want to do. And it’s not even about the debt you might accumulate—it’s about the fact that, as you said, you already know what you want for your future. However, that’s not the only reason your eyes look like that. And it’s not my injury, either. What’s going on? Is it because you didn’t visit me last Sunday?"

I nod, then tell her I spent my birthday weekend through Monday morning with him. "He said he’d be back this weekend. But today’s already Sunday."

I feel even more frustrated at how my voice sounds. I’ve always thought neediness was pathetic—even though, deep down, I know that’s exactly what I am. I have an emotional void filled with the fear that I’ll never be good enough to deserve love.

"Every move we make in life involves risk. But from what you’ve told me about this man, he doesn’t seem like the type to run or hide. I think he would’ve told you if he didn’t want to see you again."

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