Page 6 of The Arrogant's Redemption

“What about you?” she asks.

“What about me?”

“Have you been dating?”

“You already know the answer to that.”

“That’s not healthy, Alexis. You’re almost twenty-three. You should be dating more. As far as I know, you’ve only had two boyfriends—and the second one barely lasted four months.”

“There’s no one on the radar,” I dodge.

“There never will be, unless you let yourself be open to it.”

“How can you still be so optimistic, after losing Dad? I’m not trying to hurt you, but of all people, you have every reason not to believe in love.”

“Why? I experienced the purest kind of love a person could hope for. I loved and was loved by a wonderful man, and he gave me you.” She says it gently, and for the first time in our conversation, she breaks eye contact. “Maybe we weren’t meant to be together forever. But I don’t regret opening my heart to him, not for a second.”

“So why now?” I ask. “I mean, you’re beautiful. You’ve had chances to be with other men before.”

“Because I see in Badger the same thing I saw in your father: a heart free from cruelty. The others offered me material things, but I was never interested. I want someone who makes mefeel.”

“And how do you know when that happens? How can you be sure you’ve found someone who really makes you feel something?”

“Oh, you’ll know, sweetheart. The moment you meet him, there’ll be no doubt.”

“I don’t believe in love at first sight, Mom.”

“I don’t either. That’s not what I mean. I’m talking about connection. That feeling of belonging. Of being in the right place, with the right person. Take the risk, Alexis. You’ll never even have the chance at something great if you stay in your comfort zone.”

“But my comfort zone protects me from loss.”

I watch her face pale, and I know exactly why.

Guilt.

She knows a lot of how I am comes from the years I spent in the orphanage. I don’t let myself need anything so I don't have to face the frustration of not getting something I want.

Yeah . . . I know running away like this makes me a coward, and I’m not proud of it.

But it’s like being stuck in a vicious cycle. And I don’t know how to break free.

Alexis

CHAPTER FOUR

“I’m sorry.That’s not what I meant,” I say, asking for forgiveness.

“I know I left scars on you, sweetheart, and I’ve carried that pain every day since. But we’ve now been together much longer than we were ever apart. You need to learn to trust people.”

“I trust you.”

She places her hand gently over mine on the table. “I know. And I’m so grateful we managed to rebuild our world, brick by brick. But I don’t want what happened to me to become a legacy of fear and pain for you.”

“It’s not,” I lie—even though I know that a huge part of the reason I don’t let myself have fun or date or even make real friends is because I can’t stand the thought of being abandoned again if they ever leave.

“Don’t tell me that with all the handsome guys who walk into that restaurant every day, you’ve never felt something for anyone?” she teases.

“Physical attraction? Sure. But nothing strong enough to make me want to go further.”

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