I sit back down in my chair, and he squats beside me, holding my hand as I dial her number. “I’m so nervous,” I admit to him as I dial the number and press the green button before I lose my nerve. The sound of ringing now fills the room, and I look over at Caleb, who holds my hand in his and brings it to his lips.
“You got this,” he whispers right before someone picks up the phone.
“Hello.” The female voice fills the room, and I feel like I’m going to throw up.
“Hi, I’m looking for a Sonia Dyson.” I try to get my voice under control and not have it come out shaking.
“This is she.” I want to say her voice is warm, but it’s not. It’s the sound of a voice that I would hurriedly rush to get off the phone with. It’s filled with attitude and something else I can’t put my finger on. “Who is this?”
“My name is Sierra Davidson,” I say, and she interrupts me before I finish.
“I don’t know anyone by that name,” she snaps, “and if you are calling to sell me something, I’m not interested.”
“I’m not calling to sell you anything,” I reply quickly before she hangs up on me. “I was wondering if”—I look over at Caleb to gather the strength—“if by any chance you gave up a child for adoption twenty-five years ago.”
“Who is this?” Her voice goes down into a whisper. “Who gave you this number?”
“I’m looking for my birth mother.”
“Stop looking.” She doesn’t give me a chance to finish. “You need to stop looking. We don’t want you looking into things.” My blood runs cold. “We’re not interested in having anything to do with you. Forget this number. Forget my name. Just like I have tried to forget you.” I don’t say anything else because the phone disconnects.
My mouth opens but then quickly closes. “That—” Caleb stands up, not sure what to say. I can see his jaw getting tight.
“Well, that answers that,” I say, trying not to feel crushed. I shake my head. “I did my part.”
“You did,” he agrees as I look up at him, the tears making it hard to see.
I get up, trying to be as strong as I can be. “There you have it,” I state, and he wraps his arms around me while I sob out. In the comfort and strength of his arms, I let go of the pain from finding out I was adopted, from the pain of finding out my birth mother wants nothing to do with me.
He rubs my back. “It’s her loss, baby,” he soothes softly. “It’s her fucking loss.”
Chapter 32
Caleb
“It’s her loss, baby.” I rub her back, pushing away the rage I have inside me. “It’s her fucking loss.”
“I guess so,” she says, defeat filling her voice, and if I thought I was angry before, I was wrong. Now I’m not only angry, I feel like I could murder someone with my bare hands.
“Why don’t I go and draw you a bath?” I offer as she pulls out of my arms.
“I don’t want to have sex with you right now.” She smiles through her tears, and I see she’s trying to be strong.
“Baby.” I kiss her lips, tasting the tears. “You’re the one who is always jumping me.”
“Did I jump you this morning when I woke up to your face in my crotch?” She puts her hands on her hips.
“Yes,” I confirm. “You were wiggling your ass in your sleep. You basically said ‘eat me, Caleb.’” She rolls her eyes. “So I did.”
“I wiggled my ass in my sleep.” She takes a deep sigh. “This fucking sucks.”
“It does,” I agree with her.
“I mean, I didn’t think she would welcome me with open arms.” She shrugs. “But I didn’t think she’d tell me to take a hike.”
“I’m sorry, baby.” She blinks away the tears, or at least she tries to blink them away. “You are better off. She doesn’t deserve to know how amazing you are.”
“You’re just saying that because you love me.”