Page 98 of Matched Up

I nodded.‘Well … I hardly ever got to start.’I sighed.‘But Shane took me to Ferndale, and it was so much fun.’

‘Well, I suppose it depends on what you want from it.Our Shane wants it all, don’t you, lad?’

Shane was quiet.

I stared at the TV.Some old World Cup match.

‘I don’t,’ Shane said quietly.

I pressed my leg against his.A leg of support.

‘What do you mean?’

‘I don’t want Westing.I don’t want to be scouted.I want football to be fun again.’

His dad was quiet.Then: ‘I thought you loved it?I thought it was what you wanted?For your future.’

Shane shook his head, and I slid my hand into his.He squeezed it.‘I want to play for fun.And I think I want to be a coach.’

I was so proud of him for being so brave.And after seeing him coach those kids, it made total sense.He was a natural.

‘But I thought you loved it,’ his dad repeated.

‘I’m sorry.’Shane looked at his lap.

His dad shook his head.‘Don’t be sorry.I should be sorry.’

I excused myself and went to the bathroom while Shane and his dad carried on talking in low voices.But when I heard them laughing, I knew it was safe to return.

‘Do you need anything before I go upstairs, Dad?’Shane asked.

He stood up, and when his dad said no Shane squeezed his shoulder.

I followed him upstairs to his room.It was small, tidy and, like the rest of the house, smelled like fabric conditioner.I sat down on the bed.

‘How much do you actually do?For your dad?’I asked.I didn’t know how he managed to fit it all in with school and football.

‘Ah, you know, most of it is second nature now.Helping him to the bathroom, cooking, sorting his medicine; that’s why I learned to cook something other than spaghetti bolognese,’ he laughed.‘Going out is always a bit of an event, so there’s that.Cleaning, that sort of stuff.’

He laughed at my mouth hanging open.

‘But how?How do you fit it all in?’

He shrugged.‘I just do.I mean, everything else suffers a bit, but I wouldn’t have it any other way, and my aunt, you know the one who came to the Glentoran match?’

I nodded and he continued.

‘Well, like I said to your parents, she’s going to start coming to help us more too.She was talking to Mum about how I should have more time.And it’s not like I asked for it or anything, I don’t mind doing all that stuff for Dad, but I guess some extra free time might be nice.And I told them about the holiday.Honestly, I thought they’d say no right away, and that would have been fine, but they didn’t.They really want to make it work for me.’

He’d been dealing with so much, and he was right, itwascomplicated.I squeezed his hand.‘You’re amazing.’

He laughed.‘Ah, no I’m not.My A levels will be a joke.’

‘Fuck the A levels.You will make an incredible coach.And it was so brave telling your dad about Ferndale.’

‘Thanks, yeah, decided just to go for it while you were there.Felt easier.Turns out I should have done it ages ago,’ he said, sitting down beside me.‘But if I didn’t join Westing, I never would have met you.’He tilted my chin and kissed me.And then it was back: electricity, fireworks, and a relief so strong that I could feel tears building behind my eyes.

‘So tell me more about coaching,’ I said.‘It’s such a brilliant idea.’

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