Page 54 of Matched Up

On the way home, Dad tried to make me feel better.

‘That was a great pass you made to … What do you call her?The redhead?’

‘Zoe,’ I said, her name bitter on my tongue.

‘And you didn’t stop.The whole time, Lexie, you didn’t stop running.I’m so impressed.’

It was like he was trying to think of anything positive to say.And that’s why, halfway home, he ran out of words and left me alone.

I looked at my phone.

SHANE: Aw shit, I’m so sorry.I thought the match was next week.How did it go?

Then I cried.Right there in the car.Silent tears, but not silent enough.

‘Lexie, don’t cry,’ Dad said.‘Focus on the good parts.Yeah, it was a tough second half, but you were all over them in the first half.And that goal?It came from your clearance out of the box.’

I shook my head and didn’t say anything because I didn’t want him to hear my voice clogged with tears.Shane forgot?He knew how important it was to me.

ME: It was terrible.I was terrible.We lost and at least one of the goals was my fault

SHANE: No.A goal is never the fault of one person.It’s a TEAM sport.I bet it wasn’t as bad as you think

ME: It was.I let the team down.Sadie will never want me on the firsts again

SHANE: I’ve had awful games too

I knew he was lying, but it helped.

ME: Really?

SHANE: Really.Everyone has off days.It doesn’t say anything about you.You’re brilliant, Lexie, and I wish I’d been there.I’m so sorry.How can I make it up to you?

ME: Be excited for V-Ball

I knew he’d been hesitating, and so had I, thinking about how it would look.All the people who would be upset when they found out about us: Niall, Hunter, Megan, Zoe.But I wanted it, like I needed to prove something.When I walked into V-Ball with Shane on my arm, I wanted the whole school to know I was worthy of someone like that.

20

Then all of a sudden it was Saturday.V-Ball day, and Megan was at our house, before the NI trials.We hadn’t spoken since the match.The one I was desperately trying not to think about; like if I pretended it didn’t happen, then maybe Sadie would forget too.But I couldn’t forget.Not completely.And every time it burst into my mind, it reminded me that Shane hadn’t come, that Niall hadn’t come, and that Megan had witnessed the car crash.

When I came out of my bedroom she was sitting half on top of Niall on the sofa while he played some game I didn’t recognize.They’d obviously made up with each other.I didn’t understand it.Megan was leaving for England and Niall was all loved up again?

When she saw me, she got up to go to the bathroom and left me with Niall.

Silence, except for the guns blasting from the screen.

‘So you lost last night then?’

It was like a slap in the face.

‘Yeah, but they were really good.Haven’t been beaten all season,’ I shot back.

‘Meg said you didn’t have a great game.So annoying when that happens.’

Something burned in my stomach.Was this some half-arsed attempt at being supportive?

‘She said what?’I spat out.

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