Page 12 of Matched Up

‘Wow, nice arm.You ever thought of playing rugby?’He walked over and squeezed the muscle of my triceps gently.

He got a laugh out of me.‘Nope.Football till I die,’ I said.

‘You know, if it’s any consolation, I think Niall only told me because I saw a message Megan sent him as soon as we dropped her off.’He shrugged and spun the ball in the air.

I shook my head.‘Can we not talk about it any more?’

‘Fair enough.Have you got a date for V-Ball yet?’

I looked at him, desperately trying to not look shocked.He’d grown his brown hair out and it stuck up at the back and then fell over his face like an anime character.He swooped it out of the way.Was Hunter nervous?I’d known him almost all my life; he was literally like family.And then, just in that moment, I knew it was coming.Other people might have guessed it before, the way he’d changed from acting like another Niall to someone who didn’t take the piss out of me, and seemed genuinely interested in my life.But I’d always been crap at noticing this stuff.Football had been my focus for so long that boyfriends and V-Balls never crossed my mind.I just didn’t have time.And even if I did, it wouldn’t be Hunter.Going with nobody would be better than going with someone you didn’t want to go with and only said yes because you didn’t want to hurt their feelings.

‘Nope,’ I said.‘I mean, I probably won’t go.It feels like a day wasted, when I could be training.What about you?’I shrugged and tried to act like I’d no idea what he was about to ask.

‘No, not yet.I was just wondering, if maybe you weren’t training, we could go together?I mean, I just thought it might make sense because Megan and Niall would be going together,and we could get the same car or whatever …?’He trailed off when I didn’t say anything.

I’d never seen Hunter like this.He was loud.Always had been.I couldn’t count the number of times I’d come out of my room to tell him and Niall to shut up.I didn’t know what to say.I’d never been good at coming up with stuff on the spot.

All that came out of my mouth was ‘Oh.’

‘Oh,’ he repeated.

And we just stood there staring at each other until I flicked my gaze to the grass.

‘It’s not like I wouldn’t want to go with you if I was going, I just don’t want to waste a night I could be training, you know?’I lied.I was waffling.It made no sense.Of course I could take a night off.One night would make no difference, but did I want to see Niall and Megan all dressed up and all over each other?Hell no.The thought of being that way with Hunter made me squirm.Which felt kind of cruel because he was nice, he just wasn’t for me.

‘No, I get it.Yeah, that’s cool.I’d better go – bell’s about to ring.’He turned and jogged back towards the school.

‘Shit.’I was going to be late.I sprinted to the changing rooms, glanced at my phone and realized there was no time for a shower.This wasn’t me, Lexie last week wouldn’t be caught dead unshowered at school.I stared at my red face and messy hair in the mirror, thinking about how a few days ago my life was normal, and now I didn’t recognize any of it.

6

In my normal life, if Hunter had said something like that to me I’d be running to find Megan, bursting to tell her.Instead, I avoided everyone, focused on school, and thought about football in the car on the way home, dreaming about the day I’d get to go to Barcelona to see Bonmatí in real life.Nobody spoke.Niall sat in the back seat, earbuds in, and Megan scrolled through her phone.I could feel her glancing at me every few minutes, but it didn’t faze me.When I was thinking about football, nothing else mattered.

I dropped Megan home and as soon as I got back, I got changed and went straight outside.

Our house overlooked Belfast Lough, so the air was thick with salt and the tang of the sea.It had always calmed me down.Running out there had always felt like a remedy for whatever I was feeling.Pissed off, disappointed, lonely?Fixed.Maybe it would work for betrayal too.

I ran across the grass, opened the gate and stared out at the water, taking deep breaths of salted air, before walking down the steps on to the sand.The wind was strong and blew my hair across my face.The waves smashed against theshoreline like they were as angry as I was.And I was about to scream into the wind, to let it all out, the disappointment of not being chosen for the firsts again, the pain of Megan and Niall being together, the awkwardness of Hunter asking me to V-Ball.All of it.It was all too much.But then I heard someone calling my name from down the beach.

‘Dad!’I shouted, running towards him.‘When did you get back?’

‘Just in time it seems,’ he said, laughing.His eyes were twinkling.‘Looks like you were about to take a swim.’

I wrapped my arms round his waist.He was still wearing one of his work suits, minus the jacket, and he smelled of the same aftershave he’d always worn.Spicy and sweet at the same time.I breathed him in.I don’t think I realized how much I still missed him when he was away.When I was a kid, I used to cry about it and Niall would make up stupid songs to cheer me up, but even though the tears didn’t happen any more, the house kind of felt empty without him.A big man, with an even bigger presence.

‘How are you, Alexandra?’he asked when I released him.

‘I’m good, yeah.School’s fine, football’s fine.’I was speaking too quickly.

‘And how’s your brother?’

Niall’s mission in life was to impress Dad.It always had been.And it was weird because I never felt like that.Maybe it was because I didn’t have to work too hard for Dad to act like I was the greatest thing that graced the planet.

‘He’s fine too,’ I said, hoping that would be the end of questions about Niall, because I’d never been able to hide myfeelings very well, and there was no way he wouldn’t guess something was wrong.

Dad was the only person I knew who loved the lough as much as I did.When he was at home, I could always find him staring out the kitchen window into the distance, where the lough disappeared into the Irish Sea.

I inhaled the salted air deeply and it slowed my heart.

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