Page 10 of Matched Up

‘What?’

‘Can I come in?’Megan’s voice.

‘No.’I didn’t want to see her.Ever again.

‘Please?’She pushed the door open gently.

Megan was wearing Niall’s Metallica T-shirt and a pair of shorts.She hovered in the doorway, trying not to make too much eye contact.‘We wanted to tell you,’ she said quietly.

We.Wewas me and Megan.Or me and Niall.Wewasn’t them.

‘But?’I spat.

‘But we didn’t know how you’d react …’

I slammed the lid of my laptop down.‘So you just decided tonottell me?’I didn’t let her answer.‘What’s the deal then?How long have you been … doingthat?’My face twisted without me even telling it to.I cringed when I thought about all the times the three of us had been hanging out.Had they been dying for me to leave?I avoided eye contact.

Megan was still in the doorway like she was scared to come in properly.‘Just a few months,’ she said; it was almost a whisper.

‘Months?’ I felt sick.

‘Lex.We wanted to tell you.I’m sorry.’

Rage throbbed in my gut and I glanced up at Megan, whose eyes glittered with tears.And I almost softened, like I usually did when she cried.But I forced myself to stop.What they’d done?Unforgivable.

‘Please just get out,’ I said through gritted teeth.

And she looked like she was going to say something, then decided not to, before turning and closing the door gently behind her.

For the next hour I stared at my phone in a strange kind of daze, waiting for a message from Niall telling me it was all a joke that I’d fallen for.

But no message came.

5

The next morning the tension was back, and I hadn’t even gone downstairs yet.I loitered at the top of the staircase, listening to Niall slamming cupboard doors and Megan talking in a low voice.I wondered if Mum knew.Did she know Megan had slept in Niall’s room last night?What would she think of her favourite child then?Maybe I’d tell her.Did Megan’s parents know?I’m sure they wouldn’t be happy that their precious youngest daughter had a sleepover with her boyfriend on a school night.

I checked the mirror before I went downstairs, only feeling like myself if everything was perfect.And I looked good.I looked like me, even though nausea flooded my stomach and my head ached from the spinning thoughts and the horrifying replay in my head of what I’d seen last night.

Mum wasn’t up yet after her drunken book club, and when I walked into the kitchen Megan turned to stare at me, and Niall just ignored me completely.I made my boiled eggs and ate them in silence.I could hear Megan whispering something to Niall, but I couldn’t make out what she said.Not that I cared.

I felt tears welling as I tidied away my half-eaten breakfast, then turned to them before I left.‘I’ll be in the car if you want a lift.But maybe you’d rather bealone.’I hated that my voice choked at the end.

‘Lexie,’ I heard Megan say, but I didn’t turn round; I took my keys and went to sit in the car to wait for them.

Megan got in the front seat and Niall sat in the back.He had his earbuds in and spent the whole journey staring out the window.And I don’t know what I expected from him.But not this.

Megan didn’t stop talking the whole way to school.‘So, Daddy said there’s a Northern Ireland match in a couple of weeks.Against Portugal.He’ll send me the tickets like always, so d’you want to go?’

She knew the answer to this.Of course I wanted to go.We went to all the Northern Ireland matches.But going didn’t mean I forgave them.And she didn’t even give me a chance to answer anyway.

‘Oh my God, Dr Fox’s son was at the surgery the other day.Remember Finbar?’she asked, speaking too quickly.Of course I remembered Finbar.Megan had ahugecrush on him, even though he was, like, two years older than us and at actual medical school.

‘Yeah,’ I said with a sigh.

‘Well, he brought his girlfriend with him and she’s seriously gorgeous,’ Megan said.She sounded like she meant it.Like she wasn’t seething with jealousy in the same way she would have been a year ago.

‘That’s nice,’ I said, wishing I’d driven to school alone.

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