Page 47 of Falling Off Script

“...and nothing else!”

Dr. Lisa pauses. “Okay. So these dreams are... sexual in nature?”

“Offensively so,” I say.

She tilts her head. “And how do you feel about that?”

“Betrayed,” I snap. “My brain is supposed to be on my team. And now my own subconscious violates me. I mean, he literally carried me onto a countertop and—”

I cut myself off, waving my hands. “You know what? Doesn’t matter. It was a dream. It’s not real. My brain is just... sorting files.”

Lisa gives me a look that saysyou named the folder ‘Strategic Initiatives:Mount Him’.

She tries not to smile. I see it. Treasonous dimple. “Emily, it’s normal to have erotic dreams, especially involving figures of tension or unresolved emotion.”

“Yeah, but this isn’t unresolved emotion. This is psychic warfare.”

I lean forward, whispering like the walls have ears. “He’s infiltrating. Like, psychologically. Maybe even spiritually. And I need tools, Lisa. Shields. Rituals. Maybe salt circles? Do those work in REM?”

She folds her hands. “You’re describing classic projection mixed with suppressed arousal.”

“I’m describing a hostile takeover,” I correct. “Do you know what he said in this dream? He said ‘I don’t need consent. I need surrender.’ While tearing up my blouse.”

Silence.

Then she says gently, “And how did you respond in the dream?”

“I said, ‘This is unethical,’” I mutter. “But then I took my panties off. So.”

She nods like this is standard Tuesday material.

I groan. “I can’t even hate-sleep in peace.”

Dr. Lisa scribbles something in her notebook.

“Okay,” I say. “Let’s say hypothetically I want to reprogram my dreams. LikeInception, but feminist. Do we do that with affirmations? Aversion therapy? Do I record a loop of Gloria Steinem quotes and play it overnight?”

Lisa raises an eyebrow. “Why do you think Adrian’s showing up now?”

“Because I’m being emotionally targeted by his pheromones and algorithm,” I mutter. “Or maybe because my libido is a traitor.”

Lisa leans back, thoughtful. “Maybe the dream isn’t about him. Maybe it’s about what he represents.”

“Oh, great. Now he’s a metaphor.”

“Emily—what if this isn’t sabotage? What if it’s your psyche exploring vulnerability through someone you intellectually distrust?”

I blink.

“Wait. Are youshippingme with my nemesis too?”

She smiles. “I’m just noticing where your imagination is already going.”

I sigh and stare at the ceiling. “I swear to God, if he ever finds out about these dreams, I’ll have to legally change careers.”

Lisa laughs softly. “Your secrets are safe with me.”

“Good,” I say. “Because next session, we’re doing hypnosis. And I want Adrian erased like a bad tattoo.”

---