Page 3 of Falling Off Script

That makes her smile, just a little.

Jessie hits refresh.

“Two hundred views,” she says. “And rising.”

2. Adrian

My name is Andrew Zilchman, and I am so fucking tired of being Adrian Zayne.

The voice. The charm. The polished charisma. I’ve worn it like a suit for ten years, and it still doesn’t fit.

Adrian Zayne gets the followers. Adrian Zayne gets the girls — or at least teaches guys how to pretend they do. He sells confidence in bulk. Certainty by the byte. Charisma on subscription. And if you say it all with enough balls? People believe you.

But lately, I’m not just tired of being Adrian Zayne. I’m tired of Adrian Zayne, period. Of the smugness. The shortcuts. The certainty. And maybe—just maybe—so is everyone else. Maybe the algorithm’s finally bored of six-packs and soundbites. Maybe people want something real.

Or maybe I’m just projecting.

My phone buzzes. I don’t check it. I know the rhythm by now: first the followers, then the backlash, then the spin.

I close my laptop. The monologue can wait. I’ve already said everything a man like me is supposed to say. The cold plunge, the boundary speech, the little sermon about discipline over desire. I could do it in my sleep. Sometimes I think Ihave.

Buzz. Buzz.

It’s a message from Tyler, my assistant.

TYLER:

You’re trending under #Zetamale hashtag. Currently at 2.7 million views and climbing. Average watch time: 92%.Engagement’s through the roof— stitches, duets, reaction takes.

ME:

What platforms?

TYLER:

You’re being quoted on feminist TikTok and misquoted on Twitter. Instagram’s recycling your old clips with clown emojis. We’re entering meme territory. And yes, I checked. Momentum's organic, not bot-driven.

ME:

Where did it start?

TYLER:

There is this blogger, Emily Parrish. Hosts a podcast called Let Me Finish. Started four months ago, about 90k followers as of today. High engagement, mostly women 25–40. Liberal vibes.

ME:

send me a link

Tyler sends it instantly. No caption.

So, Emily Parrish. I hit play.

There she is.

Too hot for a feminist.

Barbie face, Barbie proportions—just with long dark hair instead of the regular blonde.

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