Page 14 of Falling Off Script

“And how do you coordinate anything with clients?”

“I don’t. I let them miss me.”

Interview length: seven minutes. Five too long.

***

Candidate number three is in a suit. Buttoned. Polished. Eye contact that says “I’m here to steal your brand.”

“Adrian,” he says, like we’re best friends. “What you’re doing is powerful. But it’s time to scale. Which is why I’d like to pitch you on ZetaCoin.”

I take a moment to respond. He takes that as interest.

“Think about it. You tokenize your masculinity. We build community through scarcity. ZetaCoin becomes the currency of the heartbreak economy.”

“I’m... sorry, is this your interview or an ICO?”

“Both,” he says. “That’s the future.”

Interview length: ten minutes. I mostly spend them imagining what it would feel like to live off-grid and raise goats.

***

I slump into my chair between interviews. Stare at the stack of resumes like one might suddenly stop being a threat. Tyler used to vet these people. Now he’s a “media manager” on a leave, and I’m auditioning for my own downfall.

I rub my eyes. Mutter into the ether:

“I’ll hire the next person who can spellcalendar.”

The door creaks open.

Next on the list: Jessica Caldwell.

Clean resume, no misspellings. Promising.

Maybe.

She walks in with a tablet—not a vision board, not merch, not a deck titled ‘ZetaCoin.’ A tablet. Like she came here to work.

Slim black jeans, oversized blazer, glasses. Her hair’s pulled back like she’s got somewhere to be after this. Her resume is printed on actual white non-scented paper. No glitter.

“Jessie Caldwell,” she says, extending a hand. Firm shake. Confident. Not trying too hard. Which, nowadays, is suspicious in itself.

“Adrian Zayne,” I say. “You’re punctual.”

She smiles. “That’s generally expected in admin roles.”

Huh.

I gesture to the chair across from me. She sits. I glance at her resume. Bachelor’s in Communications. Then titles like “Brand Campaign Specialist,” “Community Manager,” “Experiential Marketing Lead.”

That’s... a lot.

“You’ve worked with creators before,” I say.

“A bit,” she replies. “Mostly post-production. Editing, scheduling, narrative planning.”

Narrative planning? She seems to be leaning towards the “too smart” end of the spectrum.

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