Page 98 of Blood and Ruin: The Complete Series

“No. I don’t believe that. I can’t! We should never have been parted,” he says, stepping close enough that I can feel the heat from his body. The emotion in his eyes scares me. It’s not just lust or passion, it’s so much more. More than respect or friendship.

He cares. More than I could comprehend.

No one has cared about me in a long time. Not about me or my feelings. Not about what I did or where I went.

I’ve been on my own for so long. Seeing Kai and the others has made me feel things I never thought I would again.

I had built a wall so high and thick around my heart, promising myself that no one would ever get the chance to break through. But I could feel small cracks forming. With my plan in ruins, all it would take is one slight knock and it would shatter completely.

The wall is my armour, one that protects me from King’s torment. I couldn’t afford to let anymore cracks form, not with them leaving. I would not be able to hold on to whatever piece of myself I had left.

I left pain and suffering in my wake, Alana’s constant torment evident of that.

They deserve someone who can be their light, someone whole. Not a fragmented shroud of shadows that drags them into the dark.

Maybe it is luck that I won’t be going with them after all. They are better off without me and the broken shell I’ve become.

Although the truth of those words rings loud and clear throughout my mind, my heart begins to form its own cracks. Several that I know I will wear long after they leave.

“What do you want from me?” I plead with him, feeling drained.

“Everything!” His breath comes out in short shallow pants.

Reaching out, he pulls me forward, my body a breath away from his.

Lifting my hands, I place them on his chest ready to push him away, but he takes hold of them with one hand keeping them in place while reaching up to thread his fingers through the side of my hair and face, tilting my head to the side as he slowly leans in.

Warm tingles rush down my neck, straight to my core.

“Kai—”

I start but stop. We shouldn’t be doing this. He’ll be leaving with the others tomorrow.

His voice grows as silent as a whisper.

“I want everything and more, and I want it until we’re old and grey and have hundreds of happy memories that spill out to make thousands more. I want a family. One with my brothers and one with you. Where we’re all together, happy and content. I want love, I wantyourlove. And I want it to be as boundless as time itself. Endlessly. Infinitely. And forever yours. Now and always.” His eyes dilate and fill with a soft tenderness.

His words and the intensity behind them tear me apart. Any strength I think I have, withers to the floor between us.

“Kiarra…” He moves his hand slowly down my neck. With a tortuous graze, he slides behind my shoulders and down my back, leaving a trail of fire with every brush of his fingers.

Without warning, he pulls me into him. I feel his hardness against my stomach, making me ache in need. A surge of desire sweeps through me, craving more.

This moment is selfish. I know it and I will pay for its consequences later. But right now, in this room I keep hidden from everyone, all I can see, feel and breathe is Kai. His hands on me, his enticing ashy scented flames as the storm wraps around them, and his warm body as it embraces me.

Releasing my hands, I run them down his stomach before trailing back up to rest on his chest. I can feel the sharp rise and fall of his chest and the strong beat of his heart as it quickens under my touch.

Glancing up, I clash with eyes filled with so much desire and hope, I lose myself in them.

He keeps his eyes on mine, as he slowly leans into me. They flutter closed as he runs his nose up mine, softly kissing my face, my head, before leaning his forehead against mine.

The only sound I hear is our mingled breaths as they fight for air.

“I want you, now and always and then, beyond that. I never want to be without you again. Not in this or the next life or any thereafter.”

And then, without a second thought, he dips down, his own lips softly brushing my own. Once, twice, before we surrender to each other, getting lost in each sip, each taste, each caress.

“You taste like sunshine and destruction wrapped into one. It’s fucking delicious.”

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