“You don’t belong with us. You’re weak.”
I’m not weak. I’m not! I work fucking hard to make sure I never am. To never let them see the weak little boy I once was.
“But you are. We all see it. We always have.”
Kai’s voice is soft, almost like he can’t bear to tell me the truth. As if all this is actually real and not some fucked up illusion.
Even my dark heart feels fucking battered and bruised. My chest is tight, my stomach twisted in knots. This may not be real, but every part of my body contradicts it.
I try to focus on something…anythingother than the shitty voices beating me down making me feel worthless.
“You are worthless.”
My hands start to shake, my mind running a mile a minute as Kai’s words hit me hard.
Worthless… Maybe, maybe he’s—
No. I squeeze my eyes tight, clenching my fists. I can’t let them get to me… I can’t—
“I don’t want to be with someone like you. I don’t love you. I never have.”Kiarra’s voice is the last straw as my knees slam to the floor, my hands catching myself as I bend over.
Fuck.
Maybe they’re right and Iamfucking weak. I sure as hell feel it right now.
The pain from each of their words plays on repeat in my mind, each one a physical assault on my mind and body. Over and over until Kiarra’s last words nail it all home.
I was a piece of shit then, and I’m a piece of shit now. Why the fuck would they want someone like me to be in their family anyway?
What the fuck do I bring to it?
Just when I think it can’t get any worse, the bedroom door opens and in walks one of the dead beats from my past.
“Nothin’. You bring nothin’ to this family or any other. You never have. And I’m about to show you why.”
Jones, one of the few menthat bitchhad around longer than a couple of weeks stands before me, his belt in hand ready to use against me like every time before.
I start shaking as if I’m that little boy waiting for the first slash of pain.
I catch a shadow out of the corner of my eye and glance over at the door. The bitch stands there with a fucking smirk on her face, enjoying the fear all over mine.
But why the fuck am I afraid of them? I’m not that little boy anymore.
Just as the thought crosses my mind, I feel something inside me shift. I glance down at my hands and watch as they shrink before my eyes. My whole body changes as time rewinds and I turn back into that little boy I once was. Weak, malnourished, and nothing but skin and bone.
Fear strikes my chest as I glance up, the smug smirk on his face growing along with him as he steps forward, looking more like the tormentor he always was.
“It’s about time I taught you a lesson.”
You’re not a little kid anymore. I try telling myself that, but the little frail body I’m in starts shaking as Jonas’s large figure starts moving toward me.
Just like when I was a little boy, I raise my arms and squeeze my eyes tight, hoping it will all be over soon.
But it never was…
There was only ever darkness and pain with no light and no way out… not until the others came along. Not until Kiarra…
“You’re mine. You’ll always be mine.”Kiarra’s soft voice filters through the haze making me pause. Why would the voice…