Page 355 of Blood and Ruin: The Complete Series

I shake my head, my chest growing tight. This is just a trick. None of it is real. Stay focused. Stay—

“If it wasn’t for you, I’d still be alive.”

I take a shaky step back, glancing around. It’s not her. It’s not her.

“I died to protect you.”My mother’s voice breaks, and the last memory of her flashes across my mind. The sound of her screams. Her body as it lies on the floor, unmoving. Her eyes as they stare blankly ahead.

The memory plays on repeat as my mother’s voice continues to talk and shout at me. I cover my ears trying to drown out the sound, but it’s like she’s inside my head and no matter how hard I squeeze, it doesn’t stop.

Please, stop.

My mother loved me; I know she did. She gave up everything for me. This isn’t her. This is jus—

“I never really loved you.”

No. Please…

It’s not real.She’snot real. None of this is.

I repeat the words over and over until my mother’s voice disappears. Until the only sound I can hear is my racing heart and the rattle of my ragged breaths. I swallow the hard lump in my throat and push back the burn of tears threatening to spill.

Just when I think they’ve given up, another familiar voice speaks.

Alana’s.

“You were always a goal and nothing more.”

I squeeze my hands tighter over my ears, dropping to my knees as the voice changes to Kai and then Luka and Rion. To Jax and then Axel. All telling me horrible things I never thought I would hear from them.

“You will always be alone.”

“I don’t love you… I never have.”

“You’re too broken for me.”

“We’re better off without you.”

“All you bring is pain. Why don’t you just leave?”

It goes on and on until I feel each word slice through my heart, shredding it and leaving it raw.

“Stop. Stop!” I beg the voices as more and more deep-seated doubts come alive. Doubts that I thought were long gone.

But they don’t stop. They get worse and louder until their harsh words are all I can hear. All I can see and feel.

A storm of emotions swirl around me, threatening to break me from the inside out. It keeps circling me like the tail of a whirlwind, building speed and gathering more and more strength before striking me down.

Until finally it reaches its peak.

Just like the eye of a storm, everything around me stops and turns silent. So silent that I can hear the loud thump of my racing heart and the rattle of my chest as I fight in vain to calm down and take a deep breath.

But just like every storm, there’s always an aftermath of chaos in its wake.

Squeezing my eyes shut, I bend my head and try to calm my turbulent thoughts. I don’t get time to push down my doubts when I hear footsteps draw closer to me.

Opening my eyes, I find a pair of black men’s shoes in front of me. I follow the line of gray trousers up to a familiar black buckle. My heart doubles in speed as my eyes move up and up to eyes so dark, they still haunt my dreams, turning them to nightmares.

Just when I think the mind games can’t get any worse, I find myself staring up at King. The chaos of my storm revealed.

---