Page 171 of Blood and Ruin: The Complete Series

It was her; it was Kiarra. It had to be. No one else makes me feel the way she does. No one else has the power to make me feelwhole.

My broken soul leans into the darkness. It’s why I can see and sense more of the darker, hidden things in this world. And probably one of the reasons I was able to sense Kiarra first.

The part of me that’s shrouded in the dark is only ever silent when she’s around. The constant inner struggle and battle slows down and stops.

I’ve known she was our mate since we were kids. Since she showed up out of nowhere and quickly became a main part of our little group of misfits. We were a group of lost boys, some with fucked up families, but none of that mattered the minute she came along. She made us complete. A true family. One to fight and live for.

When we reunited with her in the Cardinal Three, the side of me that was always fighting with itself went quiet, sensing what she was to us even before we knew who she was or what she meant to us.

Hope. Love. A second chance.

Not just for me, but for all of us. We all have dark pasts that we’d like to forget, but she isn’t just an escape. With one look, she became everything and more.

I move down the hall to the en-suite that sits between Jax’s and my rooms. He says he prefers it that way to keep us close. But I know his real reason is to watch me. To listen out for my nightmares. The kind that feels so real, so raw, that I’m taken right back to the slice of the blade and slash of the whip as it burns its way down my back.

Shaking off my fucked-up memories, I turn on the cold water and splash it on my face, trying to tamper down the rising panic.

Glancing in the mirror, I see him just under my skin and behind my eyes. He’s watching… waiting for the moment to escape. To wreak havoc on the world that has done nothing but cause him pain.

But I can’t allow him to hurt the people I care about.

Squeezing my eyes shut, I push him back, just like I do every time he gets too close to the surface when my thoughts turn dark.

I take deep, long breaths, focusing on the present. On the room around me and the feel of the hard, cold marble sink beneath my palms.

There is no danger here. We’re safe, and Kiarra will be back with us soon.

Opening my eyes, my tense shoulders relax seeing him gone. At least for now.

Stripping off my shirt, I throw it to the floor, turning to head into the shower, when I pause.

Are they still as ugly as I remember?

Slowly turning my head, I look over my shoulder at the mirror that now has my bare back on full display. A back that’s mangled in scars from one end to the other and moves around to my hips.

I release a harsh breath, my hands shaking.

It’s even worse than I remember.

Will Kiarra hate it as much as I do? Will it disgust her?

Whatever happened to us when we bonded didn’t fix my messed up back or any previous scars we had. It seems we’re left the way we are, but any future injuries heal completely, leaving no scar or trace behind.

Stripping out of the rest of my clothes, I get in the shower, turning the warm water on and letting it run down my face.

I picture Kiarra back with us. Safe. Happy. I think back to the last time we saw her. Just before everything went to hell.

Rubbing my chest, I feel the bond. It’s weak. The weakest it’s been since she was taken, but it’s still there, beating along and in tune with my heart.

I focus on her smile, on the way she’s able to light up the whole room just from her presence alone, how she always thinks of everyone else but herself.

Something that will have to change when we get her back.

She deserves the world, and I intend to give it to her. To show her exactly what she means to me.

An image of her stripped bare and spread out beneath me knocks the breath from me. Her eyes glazed over with need as she looks up at me.

I let my hand run down my chest, imagining it’s her soft touch. Imagining her lips running down the length of my chest and stomach.

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