Page 47 of Beneath the Starlight and Storms

What I wouldn’t have given to have that option once upon a time? What would I have traded for just one person to be there for me? Toprotectme.

“Why would I want that?” I whisper the words as if asking myself too.

“Because I’m ruthlessly vicious and willing to do what most people won’t.” He says with a savage edge to his voice.

“Even if it gets you killed?” I frown.

“When you’ve got nothing left to lose, you quickly learn that survival is just a game. One you get better at the more you play it.” I glance over at him to see his eyes darken with pain.

Nothing left to lose.He has an entire Realm at his disposal. He fights for fun, and people fear him, not the other way around.

“You must know how to play it well then, considering you’re still alive.” I clench my jaw and look away from him again, more angry with myself and the predicament I’m in, than him and what he just shared.

“Why be afraid of something when I can be something to fear?” There’s a hint of dark amusement in his voice and I know if I were to look at him, his eyes would be alight with mirth.

“No one fears nothing in this world. Besides that, why would I want anyone to fear me?” I feared many people because of what they did and had the power to do, but I never wanted to be like any of them.

“Because when people fear you,youhold power over them. And when you hold that power, you have all the control.”

Why does it always come down to power and control? Why can’t those with power help those that have none? Why control them when you can be someone they look up to?

Hook continues, oblivious to my growing agitation. “You feel lost and overwhelmed right now because you have no control. There’s something or someone that you fear, and it has you in its grasp. So, if you can’t fight back right now, if you can’t become a bigger monster than it, then find someone who can.”

Find someone who can…Like who? I glance over at Hook with a raised brow.

“Someone like you?” I ask.

He nods. “Exactly. I wasn’t always the monster I am today. I was once a lost, broken boy like the rest of them and you can’t break what’s already broken, but you can sharpen those edges and use them as a weapon. I became a weapon because I had no other choice. But if you let me, I’ll become your weapon, too.”

The promise in his voice has my heartbeat quickening once more as I stare at him, struck silent by his words.

I remember how lost and broken he was when he arrived on Neverland. It’s probably one of the reasons that we all became so close, having it in common.

And I guess people forget that no monster is ever made. They’re usually born from the chaos and cruelty of others.

Hook wasn’t born a monster, neither was I. Something changed us, forced us to become something more than what we were in order to survive.

And I’ve survived long enough to know I no longer needed anyone to fight my battles for me nor did I need anotherweaponat my disposal.

“Tell me… Tell me something.Anything?” Hook pleads with a small frown and soft look.

I swallow hard knowing that his words have affected me, and I was going to reveal something I never told anyone.

“My dreams are mostly endlessly dark. So much so that when I wake, it’s all I see.” I stare back up at the sky and focus on a group of stars all huddled together.

“I fear that darkness because of what lies within it. Monsters. Beasts. Cruel beings.” I swallow hard against the lump in my throat as I remember my lastdream.

“They all sit and wait, ready to attack. And when they do, I can’t tell whether it’s real or not.”

My eyes follow the glittering stars across the sky. “There is nothing bright in that darkness. No glimmer of light. So, when I come out here and see the stars, see their shining lights, I know I’m no longer in that nightmare. When I come out here, I know the monsters and cruel beasts can’t touch me. I know I’m safe. The stars have a way to soothe my fears like nothing else in this world. They are my one constant. No matter where I am, all I have to do is look up and they’re there.”

Hook is silent beside me, too silent. I feel his eyes on me, but I force myself to keep looking at the stars. Not willing to look at him and see the pity in his eyes.

I know it sounds childish to be afraid of monsters in the dark. But I’d rather him think that than find out the truth.

That the monsters hidden within my darkness are very real. And when I wake up panicked and afraid, needing to find a sliver of light to guide me out of it, it’s not because it’s a nightmare my frightened brain made up, but a memory that has become all too real once again.

When he’s still silent after another moment, I chance a glimpse at him and grow surprised to find his eyes are filled with warmth, not pity. But there’s a glimmer of darkness there too. He holds it back as he gives me a shadow of a smile.

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