Page 50 of Don Caselli

I remained laying on her bed as I watched her walk around her apartment. “Stay the night with me.”

“Yeah?”

It was the way she always askedyeahin a question that was cute. “Uh, huh.”

“Separate rooms, right? ‘Cause you are a stranger.”

I laughed. “I mean, I would like you in the bed with me… but you can stay in the guest room.”

“Hmm, we’ll see.”

I smirked as I closed my eyes, feeling like I had been ran the fuck over by an ice cream truck. Navy’s damn family knew how to out drink a damn fish, and her grandfather was no better. Damn man continued to convince me to drink that strong ass rum. Aside from my family and Beans, the people that looked out for me were on payroll.

It was their job, between life and death fucking with Meance, to make sure I was straight. The fact that I allowed myself to get so drunk, not thinking of the usual shit was dangerous. It was for me to always be on my game, and Navy’s family made sure I was straight. Her father took me to their home and made sure I was safe. They didn’t give a fuck about the money or who I was. They were good people, and it was in their nature to do shit like that for the people that came into their circle.

You could tell a lot about a person when it came to their family. Navy was raised around a family that were tight-knit and were good people, which made her a good person.

9

Kennedy

I should have toldhim no the minute he told me he wanted to take me somewhere. Instead, I allowed him to bring me to Martha’s Vineyard for the weekend. This was going against everything his brother wanted, and Don didn’t seem to give a fuck about what Menace wanted. In his eyes, he was the little brother and got away with shit because of the blood they shared.

He didn’t take in account that I was the outsider. This could go differently for me if Menace ever found out about us. While he would be banished to a beautiful penthouse, I was back on the streets, trying to claw my way back to the top. I didn’t want to go far with Don because I knew only one of us would end up hurt.

Landon would go on with his life and find another woman that could give him what he needed, while I was exiled and didn’t have anyone to turn to. Things were best this way, and the sneaking around that we were doing would have to cometo a stop, eventually. It was the allure that I was forbidden for him.

He was used to getting any and everything he wanted. The fact that his brother popped his hand and told him that something, or someone, was off limits made him want it that much more. He wanted me because he couldn’t have me, and that added to whatever ego thing he had going on. I didn’t want to be used like a challenge, a broken rule. I was a person, and Landon was playing a dangerous game when it came to his brother.

I’ve heard some things that Menace had done, and the worst of it was to his own family. Imagine what he would do to someone who wasn’t family? A girl whose father thought he was protecting her, and she turned around and disobeyed the person who was supposed to protect her.

My mental wasn’t the best after what I had gone through. I wasn’t stupid where I didn’t think Menace hadn’t spun the block and made them pay for what they did to me. Whenever I saw him, he stared at me with his softened gaze. As if he felt sorry for me and could still remember the video, I’m sure he had witnessed. There was a pain in his face whenever Menace Caselli stared at me, and I hated that for me.

We had already gotten into an argument at lunch because I didn’t want to hold hands in public. Don was a lover boy, a man that wanted to show off his woman and give her everything she desired. He was intentional about the things that he did when he cared about you. Not everyone got that version of him.

The Caselli siblings were all the same. Not everyone got the soft and unhardened version of them. I thought it was just Menace and Don, but it extended to their sisters, too. Zoya was just as bad as her brother, never allowing someone in, or caring to. Kora was slightly different, where she could let you in, but you had to prove it.

Affection was something that they went so long without that it was a foreign concept to them. They never said they loved each other, and there was always distance between them. As if they loved having their own lives away from the only family they had. Don wanted affection and love, and that was because he never had it.

He wanted to feel what it felt like for someone to love him the way that he needed to be loved. Don wanted me to be that woman, or at least he was hoping for that to happen. I cared about him, and in a perfect world, we could have what he wanted.

Or I could be emotionally available to give him exactly what he needed. It was easy to have the profession I did because I didn’t have to feel. There wasn’t any emotions involved, just a transaction.

I gave them a dream, and they provided me with the funds for coming through for their fantasy. There wasn’t long talks about feelings or emotions, and I wasn’t being taken away on romantic getaways out of town. Whenever I was flown out by one of my clients, it was because I was there to provide a service. Sit on their arms, stroke their egos, and fuck them until their balls were empty. It wasn’t because I was in love and wanted to be there.

Money was the goal.

This was different because I wasn’t here because a client booked me. There wasn’t any money involved. I was here because Landon had feelings for me and I had them for him. The hardness around my heart refused to allow me to be real with those feelings. Fear stopped me from wanting to show him or prove to him that I could eventually meet him where he needed me to be.

“Why are you being so quiet?” I came into the kitchen, where he was cutting up the vegetables we had picked up from the market after lunch.

“Not much to say.”

He had been quiet since I pulled my hand back from his while we shopped. Landon wanted to show me off and wanted people to know I was with him. I wasn’t used to that happening when it didn’t involve money.

I wasn’t used to being chosen when it came to men. Unless there was a transaction and I had become used to that. Feelings caused people to lose everything, and I didn’t need that in my life. Choosing and loving Landon could cause me to lose everything.

“I’m sorry. You just caught me off guard.”

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