Page 36 of Defending her Heart

“As you’ve noticed, my free time is limited. Any moment I don’t have to be at the field or on a plane, I’m with Paisley. And that’s still not enough. I haven’t had time to date, nor have I wanted to. My daughter is my entire world.”

Facts I’ve witnessed, but it still doesn’t excuse his behavior. When he doesn’t say anything, I’m sure my thoughts didn’t come out of my mouth this time.

“Before I learned about her, I was a lot like Miles.”

I snort, unable to picture it. I mean, I read articles and saw the interviews, but still. If I hadn’t, I wouldn’t believe it.

“It’s true. I was a player. A punk.”

“Still are.”

“Maybe I’m a punk, especially for how I’ve treated you, but I’m not a player. I haven’t wanted to date because I don’t want another woman around Paisley. Not to sound conceited, but I worry a woman will feign interest in her to finagle her way into my life to take advantage of the lifestyle I could give her. I never want to expose my daughter to someone like that.”

“And that’s what you think I did? You’re the one who tracked me down and begged me to watch Paisley.”

Sorry, Rowan. There’s no way I can keep my mouth shut.

“No. Not at all. That’s not what I meant.”

“Like you didn’t mean I’m a slut either?”

“Fuck.” He grabs the hair at the back of his neck and tugs. “This isn’t coming out right.”

“Maybe try to be less defensive and drop the excuses and just speak the truth.”

“I am. But I also want to give you the backstory.”

“Drop the Lifetime special and tell me the current story. If I’m feeling civil by the commercial break, I won’t drive the heel of my shoe into your balls.”

“Fair.” He rubs his palms on his thighs. “I saw you leave with Miles at Walker and Riley’s wedding. Actually, I noticed you before that. At one of our games when you and your friends came to support Walker. A woman hasn’t caught my attention in a long time. I couldn’t take my eyes off you at their wedding, and it pained me to see how close you and Miles were. When you left hand-in-hand, well, I know Buck and...”

And he thought we went off to fuck at my best friend’s wedding. To be fair, I wouldn’t put it past me either, but not with Miles. He’s like my spirit animal, my guy twin, but he’s the slutty version and I’m mostly all talk.

“I’ve kept you at arm’s distance because I thought you two had a thing. Past or present, I wasn’t sure. But I’m not that guy anymore. I’m not into women who...”

“Fuck around. How do you know I’m not fucking around with other guys who aren’t on your team?” What the hell am I saying? Do Iwanthim to think I’m hoeing myself out around Boston?

“Like you said before, what you do and who you do it with in your personal time is none of my business.”

Great. Not an apology. He still thinks I’m a slut but now he knows I’m not sleeping with his teammate. Go me.

Rowan’s advice is settling in, however, I’m done listening. I’m gonna sit here in this warm, buttery soft seat and stew and not argue.

“We have chemistry, there’s no denying that.”

No shit, Sherlock.

“The chemistry pissed me off in the beginning. I didn’t want to like you on principle. I misjudged you as a bad role model formy daughter. I’ve never been more wrong about anything in my life. I’ve also misjudged you in other ways.”

Like believing his team has scored touchdowns in my vagina. Yeah, it’s gonna be a hot minute before I get over that.

“I lashed out at you because I was mad at myself for wanting you. I lose all self-control when I’m around you. I let my guard down and told myself it didn’t matter if you and Buck had something going on. I wanted you, so I kissed you. I argued with myself that you wanted it too based on the way you danced with me. And while I was kissing you, all rationale left my body. I got lost in your taste, in your softness. In your moans.”

I swallow the lump in my throat and stare out the windshield. From my peripheral vision I can see Nash is staring straight ahead as well.

“I wanted to bring you back to my place and—"

Oh, please finish that sentence.

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