Page 102 of Defending her Heart

“Sorry about that,” he says after he closes the door.

“What exactly are you sorry about?” I glare at him.

His brows touch as he tries to read me. “I...I guess I’m not sure. It’s been a long week, Kendall, and I’m exhausted.”

For a brief moment, I allow myself to soften. I take in the purple bags under his eyes, the scruff that is longer than usual, the unusual sag in his shoulders. Then I remember what Mindy told me on Monday and I feel like a total bitch.

“How is your sister doing?”

He gives me a half smile. “Miserable.”

“Oh.” I link my hands in front of me, unsure what to say.

“Anna hates sitting still and being on bed rest for the next six weeks is already putting her over the edge. She loves our parents, but not being able to take care of Libby and Joey is killing her. Otherwise, she and the baby are doing fine, thankfully.” He runs his fingers through his still-damp hair.

“That’s good, I guess.” Now that I know Anna is okay, my bitch mode comes back in full force. I cross my arms over my chest and scowl at him. “Why didn’t you ask me to help with Paisley? The last time, and only time, if what you’ve said is true, anyone other than family watched her, you flipped your fucking lid.”

“There wasn’t a lot of time. The doctor’s orders were unexpected, and my parents had their tickets booked.”

“Exactly my point.” I take two long strides, crossing the room to him, and jab his chest with my finger. “You were in a bind. You needed someone to watch Paisley, and you called on strangers instead of me. I’m her teacher. I’ve watched her before. I know her routines. I like spending time with her, and she likes being with me. She trusts me.Youtrust me.”I think.

I press my finger harder into his chest. “Not asking me to help Paisley is a slap in the fucking face. How do you even know this Ella girl? And if you’re sleeping with her, I don’t care, but we agreed on the common courtesy of letting the other personknow. I don’t care who you fuck but I don’t want your dick if it’s been—”

Nash grabs my face with both hands and shuts me up with his mouth. There’s no tongue. No movement. Just the hard press of his lips against mine. I feel him take a deep, frustrated breath as he rests his forehead against mine.

“I’m not fucking her, Kendall,” he says against my lips.

I squeeze my eyes shut, gathering back my wits, then step out of his hold. “Fine. Whatever.” I wave my hand through the air like I don’t care about Ella. I don’t. I shouldn’t. I do. “I’m here because of Paisley, not who you are or aren’t sleeping with.”

He gives me a nod, then takes my hand and pulls me into him. I keep my arms hanging freely by my sides, forcing myself to appear loose and calm instead of the wound-up ball of mess I am.

“I didn’t call you because I don’t want you here out of obligation. I want you here because youwantto be here.”

“I just told you I like Paisley and spending time with her.”

“I know.” He palms my cheek and rubs his thumb across my bottom lip. “But I want you in my house because you want to be, not because you have to be.”

I stare into his dark eyes, trying to read between the lines. I came over here tonight to give him a piece of my mind. To rip him a new asshole for not asking me to watch Paisley. I’m not ready to talk about anything heavy. Definitely not about what I shouldn’t be feeling for him. Two minutes with the man and I’m already betraying myself. Falling for Nash is out of the question.

Okay, fine. I already fell, but admitting to it is an absolute, fucking hard no.

“This doesn’t make any sense, Nash.” I step out of his hold again and move so the coffee table is between us. “You’re in a desperate situation and Paisley needs someone to watch her. It’s a slap in the face not asking me to be with her. You have an awaygame this weekend. That means you’d rather have a stranger sleep in your house, be with your daughter twenty-four seven, than me. It took you months to trust me with her but you trust this woman in a matter of hours? Days?”

Weeks? I want to ask, but don’t because that will show my jealous side again.

“It didn’t take me months to trust you, Kendall. It took months for me to trust myself. And no, I don’t want Ella to sleep in my house. I wantyouto sleep in my bed. She’s just a nanny. I’ve been looking for one since the first time we had to interrupt your life to watch Paisley.”

Fucking butterflies.

“This isn’t about sex, Nash. It’s about your daughter.”Lies, lies, lies.It’s mostly about his daughter. But, yeah, it’s about us too. Only because I made it with my stupid jealousy over his new babysitter.

“It’s also about you, Kendall. I don’t want to use you. I want you to spend time here, with me, because you like being with Paisleyandme.”

“Do you think I don’t like our evening fuck fests?” I inwardly cringe at how degrading I’m making our sex sound. I mean, we do have some intense fuck fests and I’m all for it, but the last time we were together was...special. He makes me feel special and worth more than a quick bang. When his mouth turns down in a frown, I hate myself for insulting him. “Nash, I don’t feel used by you. We have a mutual agreement. I don’t feel used or taken advantage of by helping you out with Paisley. I adore her.”

He nods and gives me that sad, pitying smile again. It’s like he can see through the mask, through the wall I have up guarding my heart, and because he’s a gentleman, he doesn’t call me on it.

“I’m sorry for not reaching out to you, Kendall. Hurting you has never been my intent. I guess in my mind I thought I wasshowing you how much you mean to me by not taking advantage of you.”

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