Page 77 of Defending her Heart

Nash has walls, and until they come down, I don’t think I’ll ever fully trust my heart to make good decisions.

But they won’t come down if I don’t give him a chance.

Fuck me. I’m going to have to talk about my feelings. Flirting, sex talk, sarcasm, crude jokes; that’s the easy stuff. Telling a man how I truly feel?

Fucking frightening.

CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE

NASH

It’s been a shit couple of days. Kendall never responded to my texts Sunday or Monday. We lost in LA by ten points, and practice this week is going to be brutal. My body is sore from taking a beating last night, and my head hasn’t been in the right place since Kendall took off after Paisley’s party.

I’d like to blame my sour mood for my shitty performance Monday night, but I’ve learned to block out the outside noise the moment my cleats touch the turf. I was focused, I just wasn’t good enough. The whole D-line was off, and as one of the captains, it’s my job to get us in sync.

The only positive in my life right now is my ball of sunshine. No matter the mood I’m in, Paisley lights up my world.

I let her stay up later than normal on Tuesday since I haven’t seen her since Saturday night, but by Wednesday morning, we’re both extra growly. After two meltdowns, the first because I’m a meanie and won’t let her wear her sandals to school and she says ten degrees isn’t too cold, and the second, because I cut her French toast in rectangles instead of triangles, I cave and let her wear her birthday tiara to school.

It’s the first time I’m thankful parents aren’t allowed in the school in the morning. I’m in a foul mood, and since Kendall has been giving me the silent treatment for the past four days, it’s best I don’t see her.

“Grammy and Grampy will pick you up this afternoon. Have a good day. I love you, Sweet Pea.”

“I want you to pick me up,” she whines as she unbuckles her seat belt.

“I know, Sweet Pea.” I twist around and reach for her in the backseat. “Come give me another hug.”

She leans her head into the back of my seat and I kiss her cheek. “Can Buckie pick me up?”

“He has to work too.”

“Can Miss Kendall play with me after school?”

Paisley loves her grandparents, so I know it’s not about them. After the high she experienced at Friendsgiving, then the rush of being the center of attention at her party, she’s now bored with her usual routine.

“We’ll plan something fun for Saturday afternoon. Be thinking of what you’d like to do, and we’ll talk about it at dinner tonight, okay?”

“Okay,” she mumbles and lifts her face.

“Love you, Pais.”

“I love you too, Daddy.”

An impatient parent behind me taps on their horn. There are strict rules in the drop off zone and we’re pushing it here.

When Paisley is safely on the curb with one of the helpers, I head to the stadium. Two hours of film, followed by two hours of conditioning and two hours of drills, and I’m beat. I grab a sandwich and a plateful of pasta salad and plant myself in the corner of the mess hall, as we like to call it.

Usually, it’s the younger guys and the ones without family nearby who grab a bite to eat before heading home. Those with wives and girlfriends go home to spend time with their loved ones.

If I wasn’t such a chicken shit, I’d have skipped out on the pity party and rushed to get Paisley at school.

But between sucking ass in LA and being rejected by Kendall, I’m shitty company. Too bad that doesn’t stop Walker from taking a seat across from me.

“Don’t you have a wife to go home to?” I say around a bite of roast beef.

“Yeah, I do.” He grins before tearing into his sandwich.

Fucker.

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