Page 74 of Defending her Heart

She shocked me with her affection, but I wasn’t uncomfortable by her declaration. I craved her love, even though I didn’t realize it until after she spoke those words. It was innocent and genuine. Not forced because we’re related or tossed out haphazardly.

There was no motive or incentive. I believe Paisley really does love me, which makes my heart happy, but I also wonder about her mother and how she would feel about her daughter expressing her love to another woman.

If Paisley were mine, I’d be boiling with jealousy if she gave another woman as much affection as she gives me.

What surprised me most about the whole situation was Nash’s reaction. He didn’t clam up or push me away when Paisley said she loved me. Instead, he pinned me to the wall and asked me to stay, period and all.

He looked at me like he cared, but I thought Jason’s affection meant the same.

“Fuck.” I slam my car door and march inside the school, using my ID to unlock the security door.

I hate that Jason damaged my head and heart. I hate that he still has so much control over me, hence the reason I went on a slutty mission as soon as I met his wife.

I need a girls’ night with Riley and Rowan. They’ll talk sense into me. Either to ditch Nash and sow my wild oats to avoid having my heart crushed, or they’ll talk me into giving us a chance, because I’m fifty-six percent sure that’s what Nash is inching toward.

“Miss Kend–Wentworth!” Paisley shouts with excitement when she rushes down the hall to my classroom an hour later. “I’m wearing the hair ties you got me and the headband. Grammy said I couldn’t wear the dress to school, but I can change into it when I get home.”

“Your Grammy is right. The dress is much too pretty for school activities. And your ponytail is perfect.” I crouch in front of her and lower my voice. “But remember, we shouldn’t talk about the presents I got for you because it might hurt the feelings of our friends in class.”

“Okay. I won’t say anything,” she whispers loudly.

She makes good on her promise and only slips up one time calling me Miss Kendall but corrects herself immediately. When Beth and Joe pick her up at the end of the day, they treat me no differently than they have all year.

Friendly, genuine, respectful. They’re good people, and if they didn’t suspect anything happening between Nash and me, I’m sure hosting the party on Saturday convinced them otherwise. Even if Nash and I never crossed any lines. Hell, not even after everyone left.

Much to my dismay.

My fault. My issues.

“You went above and beyond for Paisley, Miss Wentworth. You’re a special woman, and we’re glad you’re in our son and granddaughter’s life.”

Well, that answers that. I don’t clarify that I’m currently only in Nash’s life for sexual favors. It hadn’t made me feel cheap before, but now I don’t like how it sounds or how my stomach turns in knots when I think of what we have as only sex.

Hell, I need a Riley and Rowan night.

“She’s a great kid,” I respond and give Paisley’s shoulder a squeeze when she takes Beth’s hand. “Have a good night, Humphries family.”

“Will you be watching the game?” Joe asks.

“Maybe. I have plans with my girlfriends.” Crap. Riley will definitely be watching Walker, which means my personal life may need to be put on hold for another night or two.

“I’m sure between you and Riley cheering them on, even from across the country, the boys will do well.”

As soon as they leave and I wave off my last student, I take out my phone and text the girls.

ME: I’m sending out a 911. Row. Please tell me you’re not working tonight. Nachos and wine at Riley’s? Desperate for advice.

Riley texts immediately.

RILEY: I can host since I’ll be glued to the TV anyway. Fair warning, I’ll be pausing, rewinding, and rewatching my sexy husband’s plays and may bedistracted from the therapy session if the camera zooms in on his ass.

ME: You see his ass every day.

RILEY: I haven’t seen it in 58 hours!!!!!!!!!

ROWAN: Literally just ended my 12 hour shift. Do I need a power nap before our session? Or do we have our therapy session before the game. It doesn’t start until 8. I may not be fully alert.

I’m a shitty friend. Rowan hasn’t slept in forever and Riley’s husband is on Monday Night Football. Their thoughts are not going to be on my first world problem of whether or not I should pursue a relationship with the man I’m currently sleeping with and whose daughter loves me.

---