“The 911 is I don’t know how to tell Nash that I love him too.”
“Just like that,” Riley offers the lamest advice.
I roll the stem of my glass between my fingers. “Easier said than done. My heart wants to tell him, but my brain keeps getting in the way and dangling seeds of doubt in front of me.”
“What is it you doubt?” Rowan asks.
“Nothing specific. Just that I’m a fool for believing someone as perfect as Nash could love me. Or maybe he loves me now, but it won’t last. And when he tires of me, I’ll be left with my broken heart again. But this time, I don’t think it will repair itself.”
“You’re not unlovable, Kendall.”
“Maybe.”
“What can we do to help you?” Rowan moves her glass aside and focuses on me.
“You’re doing it. I know I come across cocky and confident but...”
“You’re still healing.” Riley offers a comforting hand. “Nash said not to rush it, not to force the words. Take his advice and take it day by day. When and if it feels right, you’ll know andthere’ll be nothing stopping you from falling in love, whether it be Nash or someone else.”
There won’t ever be someone else. Nash is it for me, but I’m too scared to admit it out loud.
CHAPTER FORTY
KENDALL
I don’t think I’ve ever laughed as hard as I have tonight. I even had to sneak in the bathroom and remove my underwear because I peed my pants. Not a lot, but enough to make it uncomfortable. Gross, but worth it.
We started the day by picking out two Christmas trees. One for my mom’s house and one for Nash’s. We bumped into each other in my mom’s cramped living room as we decorated our family tree, then we all piled into Nash’s truck and decorated the ten-foot spruce in his living room.
The Christmas music was loud, and Paisley and Dani were louder. We moved into the kitchen and made a royal mess baking cookies and four batches of fudge. Nash taught my mom and Dani how to make his family’s favorite toffee bark, then Nash and I worked together on buckeyes while everyone else sat at the table decorating the final batch of Christmas cookies.
I’m pretty sure it was an excuse to have me close so he could cop a feel and kiss me without an audience. Although my mom busted us more than once. By the sparkle in her eye, she is more than happy about our relationship.
Since the kitchen is a disaster, Nash orders more Chinese food than ten people can consume, and we eat it around the coffee table in the living room in front of the tree while watching the Rudolph special.
We’ve always had fun baking together, but adding Nash and Paisley to our tradition, and working in theirs, brought the day to a whole new level. I love how sweet and patient he is with my sister, and I now understand how Paisley’s and my relationship can be so special to him.
Watching others treat someone you love as if they’re one of their own does something to your heart. And if my heart wasn’t already beating strong for Nash, it’s on an adrenaline rush from watching him take my family under his wing and sharing this day with him.
After we clean up the kitchen, we pile back into Nash’s truck and head back to my house. He walks us to the front door and my mom turns to him.
“Thank you for opening your kitchen to us, Nash. Your home is beautiful, but your heart is what truly shines.” My mom hugs him and kisses his cheek like he’s part of the family.
“I like my cookies.” Dani holds up the three containers she filled with treats.
“You’re an excellent baker. You’re going to have to come back and make me more cookies. I have a feeling the ones you left at my house will be gone in a few days.”
Dani giggles and follows my mom inside.
“So.” I pull the opening of his jacket in my hands. “Mind waiting a few minutes while I get a few things?”
His brows come together. “What things?”
“My overnight bag.” It’s the first time I’m spending the night with Nash, other than being there to watch Paisley.
His mouth breaks into the widest grin I’ve ever witnessed. He removes my hands from his chest and pushes me to the door. “Hurry up. I’ve been waiting for this moment my entire life.”
“Dramatic much?” I laugh over my shoulder as I open the front door.