Page 35 of The All-Inclusive

That’s the question I see playing over Trent’s face.

“What the hell is going on here?”

I’m propped on my elbows, peering over my boobs as they peek from the lacy scooped neck of my top. There’s more pushup to this bra than I’d normally choose, and the flash in Trent’s eyes says he likes what he sees.

“Sara?” He drags a hand over his head. “I’m not sure what’s happening, but I feel like I’ve walked into some kind of dream.”

At least he didn’t saynightmare. That gives me courage to deliver my speech.

“Here’s the thing, Trent.” My voice wobbles a little, but I still sound calmer than I feel. More in control, which is the whole damn point of this exercise.

“I want you to fuck me, right here, right now.” I open my knees just a little, watching his eyes drop to the thin scrap of satin at my center. “I want Logan holding me down with his hands on my tits, telling me what a good girl I am for taking your cock.”

Holy shit.

I just said that out loud.

Part of me wants to leap off the table and call Camille. Whenshe told me to ask for what I want, I’m sure she never imagined those words would spring out of me.

Trent stares like he’s sure I’m possessed by the devil. Maybe I am, but there are worse ways to lose my virginity.

Not lose.

Reclaim.

That’s what I’m doing right now.

His muscular arms flex at his sides, big hands twitching with the urge to form fists. Or maybe to touch me? He’s wrestling with something, and I think I know what.

“This is wrong.” He says it a little uncertainly.

“According to whom?” I fire back.

“Sara—”

“Show me the passage that says, ‘thou shalt not deflower the virgin you jilted while a man she paid to go down on her touches her tits.’” I’m probably going to Hell for that, but so what? “I’m waiting, Trent. Where did you read that?”

His stubborn jaw clenches. “This is crazy.”

At least he’s moved on from calling itwrong.

My heart pounds against my ribcage as I summon my words for rebuttal. After so many years, this is the hill I’m willing to die on.

“Building up chastity as some kind of holy grail was crazy.” My voice sounds stronger now, more certain. “Believing the fast-track to Heaven hinged on whether you touched meoverorundermy panties was crazy. Not discussing our desires in ten years together was crazy.” I open my knees just a little bit more, letting the skirt slide up my thighs. His eyes go wide as I lick my lips. “Doing this now is the first sensible thing I’ve done in a long time.”

Trent darts a quick glance at Logan. “Why does he have to be here?”

“Because that’s what I want.” I don’t look at Logan, but his arms are still braced on the table behind me. “This ismyfantasy,Trent.Myvirginity, not yours.” Not since he told me that ship sailed years ago.

I lower my voice so he knows just how serious I am. That what I’m proposing isn’t up for debate. “This is how I want this to happen, Trent. Take it or leave it.”

Logan doesn’t speak, sensing, perhaps, this part of the chat is best had with only the two of us. I watch Trent’s fingers twitch at his sides. His eyes dart to Logan like he’s looking for threats. When they drop back to me, he gives one, curt, quiet nod.

“You’re right.” His throat bobs as he swallows, his gaze raking over my body. “I owe you whatever you want.”

“This isn’t about anyoneowinganyone.” I should feel embarrassed, having this chat while spread-eagled on a table, but I don’t. “It’s about recognizing desire as normal and human and perfectly healthy to pursue, no matter how different it is from what we grew up believing it was okay to want.”

There’s a flash in his eyes, a bright blaze of need as something snaps inside him. Closing his eyes for a second, he draws one, deep, shaky breath. When he opens his eyes, a different Trent takes his place.

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