Of course, I still cared about her. How could I not? Harlow wasn’t just anyone. She was the girl I planned on marrying someday, until she walked away and decided she wanted to marry someone else instead.

“Her staying with me doesn’t mean anything.”

Ryan snorted. “Right. Keep telling yourself that.”

I shot him a glare, but he just laughed it off and moved down the bar to take care of another customer.

I sighed and ran a hand through my hair. I hated how much she still got under my skin. How, after five years, she still had the ability to stir up old feelings that I thought I had moved on from.

No matter how tempted I was, I would not let myself go there again.

I wanted to pretend that her being back in Marcellus Falls didn’t matter, but the truth was, it mattered way too much. Having her in my house, in my space, would make it a hell of a lot harder to keep those feelings locked down.

I finished my beer and signaled for another. If I were to survive the next few weeks, possibly months, I would need more than a cold beer. I was going to need a damn miracle.

CHAPTER SIX

HARLOW

“Tell me everything,” Molly said when I sat next to her on the couch.

I propped my feet on the edge of the table. “I don’t have a clue where to start.”

She pulled a knit blanket over her lap. “You’ve been back in town for three days now, and you still haven’t talked about why you ran out of the church, seconds before you were supposed to walk down the aisle. Why don’t we start there?”

I stared at my wine, swirling it around in my glass. I didn’t want to discuss this, but Molly was my best friend. She was there when I needed her most. I owed her the truth.

“I didn’t love him.”

She rolled her eyes. “Can you at least tell me something I don’t already know?”

My head snapped to hers. “If you knew I didn’t love him, then why did you ask?”

She smiled. “Because I wanted to hear you say it.”

I groaned, letting my head fall back against the cushion. “I thought if I had a long engagement, it would give me time to fall in love.”

When I agreed to the arrangement, the only thing I asked for was time. I told my dad we didn’t want it to look rushed, but the truth was, I needed to get used to the idea. I thought if I dragged my feet long enough, maybe it wouldn’t actually happen. Or at the very least, make it seem less real.

She frowned. “Harlow, that’s not how love works.”

I played with the ends of my hair. “I know that, but I convinced myself that my happiness would come later if I kept playing the role, but deep down, I always knew how wrong it was.”

I only said yes to help my dad secure a government contract. He was counting on me and I thought I could handle it. Senator Zimmerman was looking for a favor and I found myself caught up in something I never wanted.

Baz was involved in a hazing scandal in college that almost cost his father his political career. That was where I came in. I would make him seem more responsible and restore his public image.

The deal benefited everyone but me. And to make matters worse, somewhere between all the planning, I met Brooks. He was someone I never saw coming. And walking away from him was the hardest thing I’d ever done.

She sighed, tucking the blanket around her legs. “I always understood why you went through the engagement. I’m honestly surprised it took you so long to come to your senses.”

I opened my mouth, but the words got stuck in my throat.I knew what I wanted to say, but it sounded more pathetic when I said it out loud. No one knew the real reason, not even Molly. She believed that the arrangement was all about my dad trying to control me, but it was much more complicated than that. I wanted to tell her, but Brooks could never know the truth, and I would never put her in a position to keep a secret from her husband.

“I kept hoping that it would get better, but the closer I got to the wedding, the more I questioned if I could go through with it.”

She shook her head. “You always felt obligated to do what your father wanted, and he always made sure that you felt that way, too.”

She wasn’t wrong. I’d been told what was best for me since I was a little girl. My dad was a man who thrived on control.