Page 66 of Whatever You Need

I blanched at her threat and cut my eyes to my brother who was laughing his ass off. “Sorry, Nonna. I’m just upset. I know Amelia is your friend and you care about her.”

I loved my grandmother with all my heart, but the woman drove me crazy with her need to fiddle in my business. Truth is, there wasn’t anything she wouldn’t do for the people she cared about. I just wasn’t sure whose corner she was in right now.

She placed a gentle hand on my arm. “Yes, but never second-guess my love for you again. I worry about you, Marco. I have since the day you became a police officer. I know you are a grown man, and I don’t like to interfere with matters of the heart. But I will tell you this. You need to stop using what happened to you in the past as an excuse.” She patted my cheek and pinched it lightly. “If you want to be with Amelia, then let yourself be with her. Be happy, my boy. That’s all I want for you.”

I sighed, trying not to let everything she said bother me. Her heart was in the right place, but the woman knew no boundaries. “Don’t you think I should have been told that she was supposed to be marrying someone else?”

My mother gasped in shock. “What?”

My grandmother put her head down as my brother stepped forward. “What the hell is all this shit about?” Matteo snapped.

I rubbed the back of my neck, realizing I was not going to get out of here without talking about this. “The short version is that Amelia agreed to marry some other guy before she met me, and she just informed me about it a few days ago.”

“Oh, Marco.” My mother’s eyes misted with tears. She really liked Amelia, and that made this entire situation ten times worse. “How could she do that to my baby?”

I grabbed her hand and hauled her toward me. “I wish I knew, Mamma.” I rubbed her back as she shook her head against my chest. She seemed almost as upset as I was, so I wasn’t sure who was supposed to comfort who.

Her tears hit my shirt, and Matteo placed his palm on my shoulder. “I’m sorry, bro.”

My cell buzzed in my pocket. I pulled it out and glanced at the screen. “What’s up, Logan?”

“I’ve had a shit day. Wanna meet for a few beers?”

I looked down at my mother, whose eyes were filled with worry. I felt like a goddamned disappointment to her as usual. Why couldn’t I have a normal, stable life like my brother? Why couldn’t I be married with two adorable kids and have a job that required me to carry a briefcase instead of a gun? Why did my personal choices always have to bring her emotional pain?

Yeah, unwinding with a few beers seemed pretty damn good right now.

* * *

“I wassurprised you called earlier. I thought you had plans tonight?” I asked Logan as we sat in a booth at a local sports bar, sharing a pitcher of beer and a basket of wings. I couldn’t get out of my mother’s house fast enough when he called. She was having a hard time, and my grandmother was unusually quiet. Matteo on the other hand was just pissed on my behalf.

“I did, but I had to cut my date short. Brina had an asthma attack and Vanessa had to bring her to urgent care.”

“Is she okay?”

“She’s fine now, but of course, by the time I got to Vanessa’s house, Brina was already in bed and Vanessa made me feel like shit that I wasn’t there.”

I let out a low whistle. “Don’t beat yourself up. Brina is fine, and it sounds like Vanessa was just being her normal bitchy self.”

“I still feel so damn guilty.”

I shook my head. “That’s exactly how she wants you to feel, so stop worrying about what she thinks and focus on your daughter.”

“I’m trying, even though one wrong move in front of Vanessa and everything blows up in my face. It feels like I’m walking through a field filled with landmines whenever I’m with her.” He reached for the pitcher and poured himself another beer. “So, what’s the latest with you? Do you still have Amelia on ice?”

I swallowed hard and tried to focus on the basketball game on TV. I was too stubborn and proud to admit it out loud, but I hated that being here reminded me of what I was missing. Normally, I enjoyed getting out of the house, and having a few drinks, but looking around at all the happy couples everywhere I turned was really fucking with my head.

He squinted his eyes at me. “You really care about her, don’t you?”

I didn’t even bother to deny it. “Is it that obvious?”

The past few nights, I’ve spent tossing and turning, thinking of all the different clues and signals I missed. Replaying every conversation we had through my head, wondering if I should call her and demand answers to the questions that kept me up all night.

Logan sat forward and rested his arms on the table. “I hate to break it to you, but you’ve been moping around all week. I’ve never seen you like this. If she has you so twisted up inside, then she obviously means something to you. The question is, what are you going to do about it?”

“I’m not sure.” I leaned forward and rubbed my temples, feeling a headache coming on. “She left the ball in my court. I know she wants to talk, but I’m still too damn angry at her and I’m not sure with me feeling this way if that would be a good idea.”

“I get that you need more time, but you’re only losing ground the longer you wait. If you’re this miserable then call, text, email whatever the hell you have to do to ease your mind.”

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