Page 54 of Whatever It Takes

The three ofus were on my sectional, cuddled under a blanket watching the movie credits roll across the screen. Quinn played with my hair while Emery slept next to us. My eyelids were growing heavy and it was a fight just to keep my eyes open.

He yawned and stood up. “I’m going to carry her upstairs.” I scooted back, too tired to move from the couch.

I brought the blanket up to my chin and watched him lift my daughter with ease. Her long unruly hair fell over his arm, as he cradled her carefully against his chest. She looked like she fit perfectly in his arms. Like this was how it was always meant to be.

A few seconds later, heavy footsteps descended back down the stairs. He took a hesitant step forward. “She was dead to the world.”

I moved my feet to make room for him to slide in next to me. “She’s not the only one. I’m exhausted too.”

He sat down and rubbed his eyes with the heels of his hands. It was obvious that we both needed the rest and maybe a little bit of space. I pushed the blanket off my legs and stood up, mentally kicking myself for getting so comfortable.

As much as I didn’t want to go upstairs to my bed, I knew that’s what I needed to do.

“I better go upstairs.”

Quinn backed himself up against the couch, bent his knees and propped his arms along his legs. “Are we okay, Charlotte?”

A knot formed in my stomach, as he watched me closely. It was hard to pretend that everything was fine when there was still so much tension between us. Sometimes, I wondered if we were fooling ourselves into thinking we could make things work this time around. If our love for each other was enough.

“I want things to be okay.” He stayed silent and watched me carefully while visions of Bree kissing him were still stuck in my head. Just the thought of her hands and mouth on him had me wanting to break every little bone in her body. “I just hate second-guessing everything.”

He closed his eyes and sighed. “I wish there was something I could say to make things better between us, but I know I can’t. All I can say is, I’m sorry.”

“I know. I hate this just as much as you do,” I said sadly. “I’m going to bed.”

I stood up to walk away, but he grabbed my wrist. “I’m really sorry about everything that happened yesterday.”

I peeked at him over my shoulder and met his gaze. “I know. Me too.”

As soon as I completed my slow climb to the top of the stairs, I rested my hand on the banister and wondered if I should just turn back around. Sleeping on the couch didn’t sound like such a bad idea. But if I did go back downstairs, he would probably want to have a conversation, and I’m not sure I would be up for that.

I forced that thought out of my mind and opened the door to Emery’s bedroom instead. I smiled at her sleeping under a big pile of blankets. I quietly padded over and smoothed her hair off her forehead, letting my fingers linger for a few seconds. Just watching her sleep calmed me. If I did anything right in this life, it was her. She never looked more peaceful than she did at that moment, and it made me both happy and sad.

Her father was either going to get caught or killed, and there was nothing I could do to stop either of those things from happening. She was old enough where she would remember Grant, and I wasn’t sure if that would end up being a good thing or a bad thing. I kissed her cheek and forced myself to go to my own room.

I was unable to fall asleep and ended up tossing and turning for the next hour, wishing Quinn were lying next to me. I buried my face in my pillow and then threw it on the floor. There was no way I was going to be able to close my eyes. Not when I needed him close.

I fumbled my way through the darkened house and quietly made my way downstairs. Quinn was sound asleep on his side, his long legs stretched out on my couch that was way too small for him. He had to be uncomfortable. He must have sensed my presence because he slowly turned and blinked his eyes open.

“What are you doing?” he asked, the sleep evident in his voice. “Is everything okay?”

Without saying another word, I took a couple hesitant steps toward him. I nervously played with end of my T-shirt. “Everything is fine. I just didn’t want to sleep alone.”

He held his arm out, dragged me tight against his chest and kissed the side of my head. “I love you, Charlotte. Get some sleep.”

* * *

Everything wasa rush the next morning. I had packed Emery’s costume in a tote bag, laid out the snacks that we had made for her class and somehow managed to find time for a quick shower.

When it was time to leave, I felt like I was winning. Quinn was just buttoning up his burgundy dress shirt while I laid Emery’s shoes out for her to put on when the doorbell rang.

We both shared a look. “Expecting someone?” he asked, tucking his button-up inside his dress slacks.

“No.”

We both glanced at the clock and Quinn stepped to the door and peeked out. “You’ve got company,” he said, swinging the door open.

My stomach took a nosedive when I realized it was my mother-in-law. She mentioned last week that she might stop by to drop a gift off for Emery. With everything going on, it completely slipped my mind.

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