Page 36 of Whatever It Takes

I shook my head and tried to focus on all the reasons why this wasn’t a good idea. Now that I had a little bit of space and the fog in my brain was clearing, I was convinced that this would be a disaster.

“We all know that if you really didn’t want him here, he wouldn’t be.”

“I don’t want to complicate my life any more than it already is.”

“You’re running out of excuses.”

“I just gave you one.” I tucked my hair behind my ear and looked away.

“It’s not good enough.”

Jesus. When did she become such a hard-ass?

“I get it, okay? You guys are team Quinn. Excuse me for feeling like I should get my shit together before I start something back up with him.”

“I think it’s too late for that. Things have already started back up,” Mackenzie said while pouring more Moscato into her glass. Seriously, I’m not sure why she even bothered with the orange juice.

I laughed bitterly. “Like I’m strong enough to stay away from him.”

“Well, I can’t say I blame you,” Erica said as she rummaged through my pantry closet looking for a snack.

I rolled my eyes. “I’m overwhelmed. I know you guys think that I’m not living my life, but I’m doing the best I can.”

“You’re allowed to be happy, Charlotte.” Erica smiled sadly. “I’ve been married twice, and I’ve never come close to having the kind of love that you and Quinn have. I know you have shit to work through, but you deserve a second chance. Who knows, maybe you’ll both get it right this time.”

That thought made me smile. There was nothing more I wanted than to spend more time with Quinn. I was anxious to get acquainted with the grownup version of him and learn every little detail about his life. I was curious to find out how much he’s changed and hoped that there was enough of him that was still the same.

Mackenzie grinned. “I saw the way you just smiled, you’re obviously thinking about him.”

I should have been embarrassed, because just a few minutes ago I was trying to come up with a million reasons why I shouldn’t move forward with him, but they were both right. I couldn’t put my life on hold forever. I wanted to be sensitive to Emery and her needs, but Quinn was helping me through a very difficult part of my life. He’s been amazing with both of us so far.

“Since he’s been back, I feel different,” I confessed.

Mackenzie tilted her head to the side while Erica nibbled on a granola bar. “How so?”

“I feel safe and less stressed, because I know he would never let anything happen to me.”

Mackenzie leaned forward in her seat. “Then focus on that and the rest will figure itself out.”

I was getting uncomfortable with all the attention on me. “Okay.” I slid into the chair next to her. “Enough about me. How are things with you guys?”

For the next hour, we carried on about Mackenzie’s love life and Erica’s lack of one. Mackenzie had been hooking up with a seventh grade English teacher in her building. It was actually kind of scandalous for her because casual hookups were never her thing. Erica, on the other hand, I worried about her. She worked hard and partied harder. She wanted us all to believe she was doing it all in fun, but she wasn’t fooling anybody.

After a quick phone call with Grant’s parents and a much desirable shower, I walked back downstairs to see my two best friends still sitting at my kitchen table.

“You guys don’t need to stay and babysit me all day.”

Erica put her phone down and gave me a once-over. “You clean up nice, and we’re not leaving. You can stop trying to kick us out.”

“How was the phone call with the in-laws?” Mackenzie asked while she rinsed out our wineglasses.

“I feel bad for them.” I sighed. “They love their son and I can tell their hearts are torn.”

Erica opened up the fridge to put the orange juice away. “Are they still trying to help you out with bills?”

“Yes, and I appreciate it, but I really need to get this shit figured out and learn how to stand on my own two feet.”

“One step at a time?” Mackenzie smiled as she dried her hands off with a towel.

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