Page 20 of Whatever It Takes

I opened my arms. “Come here, kiddo.”

She walked into them willingly. Her skin was still damp from her bath as I stroked her face. “I found the picture of you and your dad in the trash can.”

She tried to look away, but I wouldn’t let her. “Talk to me,” I pleaded, holding her little chin in my hand.

“I’m mad at him.”

“Okay.” I buried my face in her hair and let her scent wash over me. “Why are you mad at him?” It was a stupid question, but I wanted her to tell me how she was feeling.

“Because he’s a bad person, and he doesn’t want to be my daddy anymore.” Her small shoulders shook and I leaned back, keeping a firm grip on her.

“Emery, no, honey.” I squeezed my eyes shut and fought back the tears that I never let flow around her. The ones that I saved for when I was in the shower, or after she went to bed at night.

“Please listen to me. Your father did some bad things, but he isn’t a bad man. I know there is a lot you don’t understand, but never forget that your father loves you.” I dropped to my knees so that I was at eye level with her. “He did some things that he can’t take back. He probably won’t ever live here with us again, but wherever he is, I know he regrets what he did and I know he is sorry for hurting you.”

“Grandma said he was sick. That he wasn’t always that way. That he got a disease when he got older.”

That was a great way to put it.

“She’s right, but what he did was still wrong. You know how when you do something wrong you get punished?” She nodded her head. “It’s the same thing with grown-ups. Your dad broke the law and now he has to be punished.”

“Why did he run away?”

“Because he got scared, but once the police find him, they will need to send him to his new home so he can start a very long time-out.”

“Will I be able to see him?”

“Don’t worry about that right now. Okay?” My heart broke thinking of how much had changed for her. Her life would never be the same again. I wanted that man to suffer a long, slow, painful death. Did that make me a bad person? I couldn’t care less.

“I miss him.”

I bent over to give her a kiss on the cheek, keeping my thoughts about her father to myself. “I know you do, baby.”

“Will you sleep with me tonight?”

“Of course, I will.”

She smiled at me as I climbed into bed next to her. I stuck my nose in her neck and watched her sleep until we both collapsed in each other’s arms.

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