Page 73 of Whatever It Takes

There was no way I could hide the sadness in my voice. Emery didn’t hate her father. I could see it in her eyes and hear it in her voice. She loved him, but he hurt her beyond measure, and I wasn’t sure she would ever be able to forgive him for it.

“The bus is here,” she grumbled and started down the hall.

I folded my arms across my chest and leaned against the front door while watching Emery step onto the school bus. It was my job to make sure she was happy and secure. I was failing miserably. If I couldn’t provide those simple necessities for her, what good was I?

I was in the middle of picking up the kitchen when those damn stomach cramps came back. I sprinted toward the bathroom.

I’d spent the last couple of days with my head buried in a toilet bowl. And when I wasn’t puking my brains out, I was nauseous and feeling lightheaded. Not only did the smell of fish bother me, but you couldn’t even say the word hamburger without me running out of the room in search of the nearest trash can. There was no way this was just a stomach bug.

After brushing my teeth and washing my hands, I checked my appearance in the mirror. My skin was puffy, and I was so damned tired. All I wanted to do was sleep.

I knew I’d need to stop by the pharmacy. But what the hell was I going to do if I was actually pregnant?

* * *

Mackenzieand I were having lunch in my classroom. It was my first week on the job, and instead of eating in the teachers’ lounge like the rest of the faculty, I chose to hide out in my classroom.

I was filling in for a teacher that was out on maternity leave, which was kind of ironic. Even though it was only temporary, I was thankful for small miracles because I really needed this job.

“Do you want me to watch Emery later so you can visit Grant tonight?” Mackenzie asked, sitting in a chair opposite of my desk.

“I suppose I’m going to have to face him at some point.” I sighed, opening the lid to my hot tea from Starbucks and blowing into the cup. “Thanks for this, by the way.”

She shook her head and unwrapped her sandwich. “Don’t mention it.” She eyed the untouched salad on my desk. “Have you talked to the Andersons since his arraignment?”

I looked up from the papers I had to take home with me tonight and grade. I was exhausted, and trying to get caught up to speed on 7th grade US history wasn’t helping my fatigue.

“We’ve exchanged a few text messages. I think they’re disappointed that I haven’t visited him yet.”

I never got to see him the morning that he was arrested. I waited as long as I could, but he was detained for hours. He called the house on Monday morning before his arraignment with the judge, but I had already left for work. Now, it’s been three days since he’s been in custody, and I still haven’t talked him.

“Well, it’s not like you can abandon your responsibilities.” She leaned back in her seat. “You have a job right now and a life you’re trying to get back on track. I know they love their son, but it’s not like he didn’t do what he was accused of doing. They also have to understand that you and Grant are separated and your marriage is basically over.”

“I think they are finally starting to understand that, and even if they don’t, they won’t have much of a choice,” I said, moving a tomato around in my bowl while she watched me carefully. “I know that I can’t keep putting my conversation off with Grant, no matter how difficult it may be. I’m worried that he hasn’t accepted his fate or come to terms with the end of our marriage. I’m nervous that he won’t just fight his sentence, but that he will also drag this divorce out for as long as possible.”

I looked up to see her watching me with sympathy.

It really wasn’t my intention to spend our lunch hour unloading my troubles on her, but I needed her advice. I needed her words to make me feel better. I needed her to tell me what to do. Basically, I wanted her to make this decision for me.

“He’s going to have plenty of time while rotting away in that jail cell to figure out that shit just got real. Grant may be an arrogant son of a bitch, but he’s not stupid. He’ll have no other choice than to accept that his marriage is over and his freedom is gone.”

“Let’s hope you’re right,” I said and took a sip of my tea.

We both looked up when we heard a commotion outside my door. It was just a couple kids horsing around in the hallway.

“How is Emery holding up? I’m worried about the little princess.”

I glanced at my phone to check the time and to see if I had any missed calls or messages. Nothing from Quinn. What a surprise.

“I’m not going to lie. She has her moments. She’s upset and lashing out. It’s been so bad that I’ve resorted to paying her off with these…” I held up a bag of Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups. “And this.” I pulled out the Target bag from under my desk and showed her the plastic pony I bought for her doll.

Her lips lifted into a smile. “While I don’t normally condone bribery, I do encourage parents to provide incentives for good behaviors with children. Plus, those are the Christmas trees, which are way better than the original peanut butter cups.”

“Exactly.” I smirked, sliding a piece of candy her way.

“What she’s experiencing is completely normal. You’re going to have to let her go through the emotions. You’re doing a good job, Charlotte. My only advice is try not to say anything negative about Grant in front of her. Not that I think that you would,” she clarified, and unwrapped her chocolate.

I sighed and stared down at my outfit. We may not have had the perfect marriage, but Grant was a good father up until this point.

---