Page 42 of Whatever It Takes

He crossed his arms in front of his chest and looked me over. His forehead creased in the middle as he stepped toward me. “Don’t.” I held up my hand trying to keep him at a distance.

Sweat trickled down his eyebrow from under his UPenn baseball cap, he wiped it away with unsteady fingers. “Charlotte, you have no idea how sorry I am.”

I ignored his apology and gripped the back of the sink. I glared intensely at him. He couldn’t possibly be serious. “You don’t deserve to still be able to walk this planet after what you’ve done.” I looked him straight in the eyes and continued with a strength I didn’t know I had. “You left those people for dead. Do you have any idea the amount of pain you have caused? What you’ve put your family through?”

“I had no choice.” He removed his cap and grasped his hair, tugging on the ends. “I panicked, and by the time I realized what I had done, it was too late.”

My fist clenched at my side as I stared into his eyes, trying to see if he was telling the truth. “You panicked? You are a fucking prosecutor! You know more than anyone that excuse means nothing!”

“Charlotte, I’ve had to live with what I’ve done every damn day. Every day I’ve had to wake up alone, in a strange room, without my wife and daughter. Every night I go to bed and fight the sleep that my body needs, knowing the nightmares will take over my head once I close my eyes. I know you and Emery aren’t there. I don’t know what to do.”

“You need to turn yourself in, Grant. That’s what you need to do.”

He shook his head. “I won’t survive prison, Charlotte. You know that.”

“So, what? You’re just going to hide out until the police find you, or whatever drug dealer you were dealing with finally catches up to you? Because mark my words, you will be found one way or another. Dead or alive.”

He flinched even though he knew that was the truth. Seconds stretched into minutes as I watched the tension in his jaw become more pronounced. “I know one police officer in particular who would love to see me caught.”

My back went straight, and I narrowed my eyes. “Excuse me?”

“I know that Quinn Walker has been playing fucking house with my family since I’ve been gone.” His voice vibrated in anger across the small space. “Care to explain that one?”

His bitterness and callousness made me furious. I wasn’t the one who up and ran like a fucking coward without a second thought about anybody but themselves. He was the one who left those people to die. It was him who was living a double life at the time, not me. Dealing drugs and having affairs on the side. And he had the nerve to judge me after everything that he’s done.

“How dare you?” I folded my arms in front of me. His indifference had my stomach in knots. Did he even have any humanity left in him? “You left a clusterfuck behind. Quinn is there to protect me and Emery.”

“I’m sure.” He rolled his eyes and let out a disbelieving laugh. “I would never lay a finger on you and you know it. He would do anything to get back in your pants.”

I narrowed my eyes. The implication was clear, and I wasn’t going to address that comment with a response. Really, what would be the point? He had much more important things to deal with than Quinn fucking his old lady.

“Maybe you should be more concerned about the drug dealers you’re running from, and what that could mean for me and your daughter.”

He closed his eyes and swallowed hard. “I’m doing everything I can to make sure that nothing touches you and Emery. You have my word.”

I shook my head in disgust. His word was about as useless as a politician’s campaign promise. He had to understand that his word meant shit right now.

“Did you know that your new buddies left a present for me on our front porch?”

“I’m aware. The situation has been handled,” he replied without even looking up from the floor.

I was so stunned, I almost couldn’t speak. Anger swelled inside me. I narrowed my eyes, trying to figure him out. What I wouldn’t give to get inside that twisted head of his.

“I don’t even know what to say to you right now.” I was at a loss for words on how to deal with him.

“I’m doing everything I can to make sure this shit doesn’t touch you guys, okay? And I sure as hell don’t need another man protecting what’s mine,” he snarled. “You and Emery are my responsibility to keep safe. Not fucking Quinn Walker’s.”

“What about your mistress? Are you protecting her too?” His eyes widened in surprise. “Did you think that I wouldn’t find out about her?”

He was such an ass.

“She’s nobody.” He ran a hand over his jaw, leaned back and looked at the ceiling. “I swear. She means nothing.”

I sighed, resisting the urge to throttle him. “That’s supposed to make it acceptable? You are unbelievable.” I squared my shoulders, willing my tears to stop, remembering all the times where I felt trapped in a loveless marriage.

He claimed to love me, but he didn’t. He just wanted to prove to himself that he could have me. “You’ve been sleeping with the woman for months! All the while I begged you for a divorce. I told you repeatedly that I wanted out. You manipulated me into staying by using our daughter against me. Telling me we needed to stick it out for her sake. All for what? So you could have your sidepiece because I refused to sleep with you? I’m sorry that you don’t have feelings for her.” And I really was. In fact, I was hoping that he did because it would make my life a hell of a lot easier. “I’m done, Grant. I’m moving on and I don’t want you to fight me on this and make things harder than they already are. Save your energy because you’re going to need it.”

His nostrils flared. “It’s because of him, isn’t it?”

---