Page 37 of Hard To Leave

I tooka long sip of my coffee as I sped through the morning traffic on my way to work. I was exhausted from the night before and wished I were back in my bed. I was struggling with my routine this morning and almost made Tanner late for school. It was times like this where I wish I could just call in sick.

My cell phone came to life when Bruno Mars’s “That’s What I Like” started playing through my Bluetooth speakers. Jack thought he was being cute when he programmed that damned song in my phone as his ringtone. “Good morning,” I answered while sneaking a look at myself in the rearview mirror. God, I looked like shit. It was a good thing he couldn’t see me.

“Hey, I was just checking to see if you were still alive. You were supposed to call me last night.”

I adjusted my sunglasses to shield my eyes from the sun. I felt guilty for not calling him, but after Carly left, I was in no position to fake my way through a conversation.

“I’m sorry. It was really late by the time Carly left. I didn’t want to wake you.” I tried to concentrate on the road while switching lanes. “I should have called or at least sent you a text.”

He chuckled into the phone. “No worries. I just wanted to call and check in. You sound a little down today. Is everything okay?”

“I’m just tired. Everything is fine.”

Yeah, everything was fine, all right.

My knuckles tightened around the steering wheel. “What did you end up doing last night?”

He laughed, and I heard some papers rustling around in the background. “I worked on a few documents until my head hit the back of the couch. I would have called you, but I ended up falling asleep a little after eleven.”

“You work too much.”

“If I’m going to manage a four-day work week a couple times a month, I need to put in the overtime during the week. Seeing you is more than worth the lack of sleep.”

My insides twisted with guilt. He had so much going on and was under a tremendous amount of pressure. Taking over his father’s company and trying to help his mother manage the finances was no easy task. I really wished there was something I could do to help, but I was at a loss. I was a waitress, not an accountant. The only thing I could do was offer my support.

“I know you don’t have a lot of free time, even when you’re here. You already have your plate full, between your job and trying to help your mom. I don’t want to add any more stress.”

He barked out a laugh. “I’ll spend whatever time I need to with my mom, but I’m not going to waste a single second more than I need to. The only person I want to spend my time with is you.”

My heart filled with something I couldn’t place. I was feeling out of sorts about my conversation with Carly last night. And then he went and said things like that, that only made me miss him even more. I was crazy about this man, and I’d give anything to be able to see him in person.

“Jack,” I said, pushing through the lump in the back of my throat. “I wish I could see you right now. I miss you.” I was so lost in my thoughts that I felt the car swerve across the rumble strips along the highway.

“Hey.” His voice was filled with concern. He could tell something was wrong. “Is everything okay?”

Tears stung my eyes. I wasn’t sure if it was because of guilt or the sadness, but whatever it was, I needed to get control of it and put it on lockdown.

“I’m fine; I’m just exhausted.”

That wasn’t a complete lie.

“I wish I was there. I’m not sure what I would do, but I just feel helpless being a thousand miles away on the other end of a phone call. I don’t like hearing you like this.”

“You don’t need to worry about me. It’s nothing that a couple extra hours of sleep tonight can’t fix. I already feel better just hearing your voice.”

“Good. I was also calling to let you know that I booked my flight for next week. I’ll email you my itinerary.”

My body slumped, and I was glad that he couldn’t see me. That was almost two weeks away. When did I start to become this needy? “I can’t wait to see you,” I whispered, trying to smother the sadness of having to wait that long.

“I wish it could be sooner.”

“Me too. I promise to call later. Have a good day at work.”

I looked in my review mirror as I exited the highway, feeling overwhelmed. My feelings for him were growing deeper and deeper by the day. It wouldn’t be long before I was all in and past the point of no return and that thought scared the shit out of me.

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