Page 34 of Hard To Love

She continued to stare at me from across the table. “But you’re going to tell him, right?”

I was getting irritated by her level of questioning and shot her the evil eye. “His phone call caught me off guard. There was no way I could shoot him down after what happened. I owe him that much, Cassie.”

“You still haven’t answered my question.” I knew she had the best intentions. But the accusation in her tone hit a nerve. Maybe, because deep down I knew she was right. But was my other option to tell Chase, and have him forbid me from going? Because that was exactly what he would do. That much I was sure of. Brad was no threat to him, but he wouldn’t see it that way. I only agreed to go because I felt guilty about where we left things the other night.

Jack sat up in his chair and leaned forward, saving me from further interrogation.“I think it will be good for both of you to clear the air.” He ran his hands through his hair. “Who knows, maybe it will give you both the closure you need to move on.”

Those were my thoughts exactly. Even if my heart had already moved on, the guilt was still stuck inside me. I wanted to move past it all, and not feel so torn up about my decision in the process.

As if on cue, my phone started buzzing inside my purse. I pulled it out and smiled seeing a text message from the man himself.

Chase: Just wanted you to know I was thinking about you. Looking forward to seeing you tomorrow. Rest up tonight, you’re going to need it.

We hadn’t seen each other since last weekend. Chase had been working fourteen-hour days all week. In my opinion, he worked too much, but who was I to judge?

We’d settled into our own little routine over the past couple weeks. We both had our own lives, and I liked the fact that we didn’t smother each other, that we gave each other space. Granted, there were times I missed him. But that went with the territory. In fact, it only made our time together that much more special.

A grin took over my face as I typed back my response.

Ha ha, what has you so convinced that I’m a sure thing? Maybe I already have plans?

I giggled softly before I felt another three short buzzes and a new message appeared on my screen.

If you have plans, you better cancel them. Once I’m done with you, you won’t be able to walk down the hall, let alone go all the way across town!

My heart skipped a beat as every part of my body tightened at his words. My desire for him was growing by the second. They say that anticipation heightens the experience. Well, if that was the case, tomorrow night couldn’t come soon enough. How could he get me so excited with a simple text? I was still smiling when I placed my phone back in my purse.

Jack and Cassie had been staring at me from across the table. “Sorry.” I said clearing my throat and fighting back my smile. I snapped my head back and forth between them, when I noticed their look of concern. “What?”

Cassie leaned into the table with her voice dropping a few levels in volume. “Didn’t you just tell me the other day how jealous Chase was? Do you really think it’s a good idea to keep this from him? It’s not good to start a relationship off with secrets.”

“Come on, you make it sound like I’m cheating on him.” My reply brought me no comfort because a huge part of me already agreed with her, but I had already made the decision.

She arched her eyebrow, “What do you think Chase will say if he finds out?”

I decided that I had agonized enough over this, and made the decision that I didn’t want to discuss it any further. Frankly, I just preferred not to discuss it at all. “I’ll tell him when I see him tomorrow.”

Cassie and Jack shared a look, but thankfully didn’t push this conversation any further. After a few minutes, the conversation flipped back to Jack and his latest conquest. The tension in my shoulders eased slightly as we sat and gossiped over the next half hour. After finishing my salad, I remembered I had a few errands to run before I went back to the office.

I stood up from my chair and threw twenty dollars on the table to cover the expense of my lunch. “I got to run; I’ll let you both know how I make out tonight.”

Cassie reached across the table, “Emily, you need to rethink your plan on holding off on telling Chase. I’m not saying you shouldn’t talk to Brad tonight, I’m just telling you that I think you’re making a mistake.”

I pushed my chair in, tightening my grip along the back. “I’ll tell him when I see him tomorrow. Don’t worry, I got this. I really got to run. I’ll talk to you both later.” I grabbed my purse and made a hasty exit after giving them both a quick hug goodbye. Once I was safety outside, I closed my eyes and took in a deep breath letting the fresh air hit my face, and tried to ignore the guilt that was creeping its way through my conscience.

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