Page 96 of Hard To Love

Colin exhaled a long breath. “I’m going to go make sure she leaves without an issue.” He slanted his head towards his brother, and asked. “You good?”

Chase gave him a chin lift letting him know that things were under control. Colin seemed satisfied with his response then turned on his heel and walked out.

Cassie pulled on Liam’s arms and led him down the hall while Nick’s gaze nervously shifted across the room. Both he and Jack stood in the doorway looking unsure of what to do. I guess I couldn’t blame them for being a little hesitant about leaving these two men alone together in the same room after everything that had happened.

Once they were convinced it was safe to leave, I turned to face the man that I once loved. The man I had always looked up to, the one I deemed perfect in every way. I searched his eyes hoping to find a glimpse of the man he used to be. I needed to know that he was still there. Not because I wanted him back, but because I would always care about him regardless of what had happened. We would always share a special connection. But that’s as far as my feelings ran for him. A shared past, and enough memories to make me realize how lucky I was to have had him. Even for just a short period of time.

We had reached the point where I needed to let him go once and for all. But in order to move forward, I needed to lay it all out there for him. He needed to understand that what we had was over and there was no going back.

“I’m sorry I hurt you, Brad. We don’t get to pick who we love. Our heart decides that for us and unfortunately my heart isn’t mine to give away anymore. It belongs to somebody else. He owns my heart; it’s his and his alone. There is nothing you can say or do to change that.”

He swallowed hard and closed his eyes; his hands fell limp in surrender telling me how much my words affected him.

Tears fought to escape my eyes, as I continued. “We had two wonderful years together and no one can take that away from either one of us. As impossible as it may seem to you, I will always care about you.”

Brad dug his fists deep into his pockets and grumbled, “I really don’t want to sit here and listen to you tell me how much you love someone else. You don’t think if I could go back and change things I would? I promised you once…” He paused waving his hands in the air “…that I would always take care of you and keep you safe. But, I never promised to just sit back and watch you throw your life away for someone like him.”

That was a shot below the belt. He was referring to the night when I bared my soul to him about my past. Opened up all my old wounds, and showed him my flaws and all. It was a beautiful night, one where I held near and dear to my heart. The fact that he would use those words against me hurt. Then, a protective bolt shot threw me. I wasn’t going to stand here and continue to let him tear Chase down.

“You don’t know the man that I know. You will choose to believe whatever you want to believe, but Chase is the man I love. When he hurts, I hurt. When he’s threatened, I’m threatened.” I could feel Chase’s eyes fall upon me. “I can’t allow you to hurt him like this. Even if push came to shove, I would choose him. I love him and I want to spend the rest of my life with him.”

Chase stiffened beside me. What the actual fuck did I just say? I was somehow wishing I could push that last sentence back in my mouth and shove it down my throat when I felt his fingers give mine a tender squeeze, acknowledging my declaration.

Forcing the air back into my lungs, I turned my attention back to Brad, “I don’t want to diminish the time we spent together but what we had is over. It’s time you accept that and move on. I wish you well and I hope you find the girl of your dreams someday. No, I take that back, I know you will. She is out there, somewhere waiting for you. It’s time that you start looking for her.”

He glanced at Chase who was still firmly at my side and then switched his gaze back to me. I could see the pain and hurt etched all over his face.

“Emily, shit happens, lines get crossed and trusts get broken and in the end, we all do what we think is best for the ones we care about.”

I could see him struggling for words as he tossed them around in his head. He rolled his head back and placed his hands on his hips.

“I’m done fighting for you. I sacrificed my morals to protect you and look where that got me. It’s painfully obvious where I stand and I certainly don’t want to interfere where I’m not welcome. Please don’t call me, text me, or try to see me. You want me out of your life, you got it. I’m gone!” He turned to Chase “Take care of her and make sure she’s happy.”

Chase nodded silently and tipped his head in agreement. And just like that, Brad turned his back and was gone. I always thought that we could stay friends and that our relationship was special enough to the both of us that he would understand. I felt horrible for what just happened, but I knew he would never be able to move on unless I spelled things out for him. I belonged to Chase.

With one quick step Chase scooped me up in his arms. Cupping my cheeks in his hands he asked, “Are you okay?”

I smiled up at him. “I am now!”

He sighed and kissed the top of my hair.

“I know that wasn’t easy for you. I don’t want to defend the guy but I honestly believe he thought he was protecting you. And, I don’t want you to worry about Megan; she’ll get what’s coming to her once your friend Brad gets hold of her.”

I rested my cheek on his chest and could feel his heart beating. He gently grazed his fingers along my bottom lip.

“So, you want to spend the rest of your life with me, huh?” He raised a cocky eyebrow.

Oh, my god, I prayed somebody would shoot me on the spot.

I tried to pull away as my cheeks filled with embarrassment, but he only pulled me closer. A slow grin spread across his face and a twinkle grew in both his eyes.

“Yes, I plan on being with you forever… but that doesn’t mean I’m expecting a proposal. All I know is that I love you more than I have ever loved anyone in my life. I can’t imagine a world without you in it. So yes, I plan on keeping you as long as you’ll have me.”

His lips curved up into a smile. I didn’t have to ask him if he felt the same because I could see it in his eyes. He traced small circles across my cheek and kissed the tip of my nose.

“That’s good to know because I plan on keeping you around for a long time…a very long time. In fact, I don’t know a longer period of time than forever.”

---