Page 84 of Hard To Love

Chapter Twenty-Nine

Iwokeup to the shower running in the bathroom. When I saw the time on the alarm clock, it told me it was time to get up, even though my body was still exhausted. I dragged myself out of bed in need of a jolt of caffeine. I placed my Dunkin Donuts single cup in my Keurig, then grabbed a few eggs from the fridge and started to scramble them. I heard the machine stop and reached for the mug then brought it to my mouth and paused so the aroma could hit my nostrils.

Just as I was about to take a sip, a warm hand slid around my waist. “Morning.” Chase greeted me lazily while pressing a kiss on the top of my head.

Turning to face him, I swallowed hard at the sight before me. My boxer-clad hottie could do nothing to hide his perfectly sculpted body. His chiseled abs were on full display as my eyes followed the leftover drips of water trailing where the indented V was formed by his muscular pecs.

“See something you like, Emily?” He stood there giving me a devilish grin with a twitch of his lips; fully aware of the effect he had on me.

“Nothing I haven’t seen before,” I joked, trying to sound unaffected. The eggs needed a flip before they started to burn so I turned my attention to the stove in hopes of ignoring the heat that had pooled between my legs.

As soon as the eggs looked done, I walked around and plated his breakfast in front of him, and forced myself to get a grip.

He chuckled softly as his gaze followed me over to the breakfast bar. “Did somebody wake up on the wrong side of the bed?” he asked playfully, while he poked his fork into his eggs before bringing them to his mouth.

“Well, considering I went to bed alone for the third night in a row, then I would say yes.” I slumped into the seat next to him. The truth was, he had been spending so much time at the office, there was barely any left for me. It seemed like the distance between us was growing by the day, and I hated it.

He rested his fork down on his plate, then reached over to me and lifted my chin up forcing me to stare straight into his baby blues. “I’m sorry, but once the trial is over and this shit with Brad and the club comes to an end, everything will be back to normal. I promise.”

It seemed like our relationship had been a constant struggle. I was sick of feeling like I was being pulled in two different directions. The distance between us was growing stronger with each passing day and all I wanted was to slide back into that happy place we found when we were in Florida.

He stood up then pulled me off the chair and into his hard body. “Everything will be fine. Don’t worry okay? We’ll get through this, I promise.”

“I know it will be. I just miss you.”

He sighed softly, “I’m going to be back for a late lunch and then I need to go to the club tonight for a couple hours.” I tried to hide my disappointment by remembering his promise that he would walk away when Colin could take care of things at the club on his own, but even that didn’t seem to be happening very quickly.

“Okay.” Was all I said when his arms reluctantly released me. He kissed the top of my head then turned to go get ready, leaving his half-eaten breakfast behind. I slid into one of the chairs and threw my head down on the table. I hated this and I wanted it over.

After rinsing the last of the dirty dishes off, I poured the detergent into the dishwasher dispenser and was just about to close it when my phone started vibrating on the table. When I reached down to grab it, Brad’s name flashed across the screen. My pulse jumped and I debated on whether or not I should send it to voicemail. I leaned my hip into the side of the island and cursed out loud before picking up the phone.

“Hey,” I spoke tightly into the phone, forcing a smile that I hoped would reach through the line.

“Hey, you said you wanted to talk to me?”

I had called and left him a message last night asking him to give me a call when he got a chance to talk. It had been a week since we returned from Florida, and I’d been stressing out since we got back about how the hell I was going to fix everything. I wasn’t sure if he would even call me back, but seeing that he did, I took that as a sign and went with it.

“Yes.” My legs started to shift uncomfortably, “I hate how we ended things last time we spoke.” My eyes bounced over to the door that Chase had walked out of just a few minutes ago.

Brad sighed heavily into the phone, breaking through my thoughts. “What do you want from me, Emily?”

My eyes rolled shut as I tried to block out the pang of hurt that hit my chest from his voice. He didn’t sound cocky or arrogant like I thought he would and it only confused me even more. I forced myself to remember that it was Brad’s actions that put us here in the first place.

“I wanted you to know that Chase and I broke up.” I said cautiously. I hated lying, but sometimes you had to tell lies in order to get to the truth.

“Is that so?” I detected a huge amount of relief in his reply. “What happened?”

My eyes darted nervously around the room. It was obvious that I’d have to tread carefully, but the thought of using him made me sick to my stomach.

“The why isn’t really important, I just thought you would like to know because I know how unhappy you were about our relationship.”

He was quiet for a minute, and it was enough time for doubt to start stirring in my gut. “I’m sorry you’re upset, but I’m not sorry that he’s out of your life. You’re better off, trust me.”

“You’re not going to tell me, ‘I told you so?’ ”

His tone and his words confused me. He sounded like the Brad I knew, not the Brad I had thought he had turned into. The notion that things might not be what they seemed hung heavily in the back of my mind. However, no matter which way you sliced it, the result was the same. Chase was being railroaded, and as much as I wanted to ignore the warning bells that were ringing in my head, I needed to push forward and not allow my mind to go to the places that it wanted to go. As much as I wanted Brad to be innocent in all this, I couldn’t ignore the fact that I didn’t have any other options.

“No Emily, I’m not. I’m just happy that you’re away from him.” The concern in his voice struck a chord with me and I was left struggling for words. Doubt continued to crawl its way through my conscience.

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